Ancient History

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Open Letter to a Clueless Poinsettia

Dear You at the End of my Kitchen Table,

You are still fire engine red.

Your leaves are enormous. We are talking lobster bib.

Your hearty, open, thirsty roots snake inside a pot covered in shiny green wrap.

If I woke from a Crusoe-style slumber and walked into my kitchen, I’d guess […]

An Open Letter to Old Navy Regarding a Lying Onesie

Dear Old Navy,

The next time you put a dinosaur on a shirt, consult my son. You are insufferable to him.




Sam loves dinosaurs. He’s loved them since he was a toddler. At age four, he taught himself how to read. I think his motivation, for real, was so […]

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Colleen McGaugh

Dear Colleen,

I’m sorry I haven’t written in 22 years. To say I’ve been busy the entire time wouldn’t be entirely accurate.

I think of you, my childhood pen pal, often. We were matched by my Girl Scout troop when I was nine years old. You were ten, but glad to have me as a […]