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An Open Letter to Old Navy Regarding a Lying Onesie

Dear Old Navy,

The next time you put a dinosaur on a shirt, consult my son. You are insufferable to him.




Sam loves dinosaurs. He’s loved them since he was a toddler. At age four, he taught himself how to read. I think his motivation, for real, was so he could read about them without me interjecting my opinion: “Isn’t that a cute triceratops?” He’s spent years devouring information, facts, maps, and paleontological history. Some of his greatest heroes are paleontologists and other scientists.

He has credibility. Naturally, when I see objects with dinosaurs, I think of him. A few months ago, I found this onesie at Old Navy. Because it didn’t come in a Boys’ Size 12, I bought it for Ollie. It says “T-REX-ELLENT.” Get it? Get it? Heh.


I dressed Ollie in it and showed it to Sam. He shrugged and went back to watching TV. I said, “Sam! Do you see what it says? T-REX-ELLENT!”

“That would be funny if that were a T-Rex.” he answered.

“Um, it is a T-Rex!”


“Then what is it?”

“An allosaurus.”

“How can you tell it’s an allosaurus? Because allosauruses like green glasses and bow ties?”

“No, because it has three fingers. T-Rexes only have two.”

“Maybe this is a rare three-fingered T-Rex?”

“It’s an allosaurus.”

Old Navy can correct future editions of this garment by using “ALLOSAUR-IFFIC!” or “ALLOSAUR-AGEOUS!” Also, I have it on good authority they like neckties.

6 comments to An Open Letter to Old Navy Regarding a Lying Onesie

  • Jill

    Sam – I love your integrity! Old Navy clearly is lacking in paleontological fact-checking!

  • This reminds me SO MUCH of Mark. We took the boys to see a Dinosaurs Alive presentation back when they were little (4 and 5, maybe?) Anyway, this lady sitting beside him said “Oooh, maybe this will be a T-Rex” and he said “No. That’s the wrong period. We are only in the Jurassic period, not the Cretatious period. It will probably be an Allosaurus.” YOU GOT TOLD LADY.

  • I am dying laughing! Sam sounds so much like Jacob. We had a similar experience at the T-Rex restaurant in Orlando, where Jacob tells me they have erroneously labeled an allosaurus as a T-Rex. He was offended.

  • Gretchen

    I love hearing about Junior Paleontologists! I have learned so much from Sam.

  • They need to erase a finger! Way to go Sam with that science literacy that Old Navy seems to be missing

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