1. Smallpox
2. X-ray vision
3. Ingrown toenails
4. Cottage cheese
5. Vericose veins
6. Facial hair
7. Being stalked by Dr. Phil
8. Tarantula infestation
9. All-expense paid vacation to Delaware
10. My picture under BEACH DON’TS on the cover of National Enquirer
11. Pro wrestling tickets
12. Black licorice
13. Belly button fuzz
14. Ownership of professional sports team
15. Allergic reactions to chocolate
16. Being elected to anything
17. Cicadas
18. Omniscience
19. Giant scary parrot living on a perch in my living room
20. Collection of straw-hat-wearing geese knick knacks
21. Time machine
22. Lobster dinner
23. A pierced tongue
24. Blue cheese in any form
25. Ownership of a Yankee Candle store
26. Fame
27. Victoria’s Secret catalogues in the mail
28. Prescription for low testosterone
29. Wolf whistles
30. Nauseated at amusement parks
31. HBO
32. The scorn of Anna Wintour
33. A Grammy
34. Spidey-sense
35. Sudden nosebleeds
36. A reputation as a pool hustler
37. Spontaneous urges to eat Greek food
38. More cowbell!
39. Vocal scrutiny from a roomful of southern women with big hair
40. A comprehensive understanding of how sausage is made
~ CONTENTMENT ~
