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The Rise and Fall of the Oscars

For the first time in years, I did not watch the Academy Awards. Usually I tune in to inspect the dresses and hair of actresses who have a lot more money, time, and youth than me. My only opportunity to wear a gown like the ones poured on starlets would be “formal night” on a cruise ship or in the Mrs. Colorado pageant, which I have no plans or worthy-enough thighs to enter. Otherwise, it looks like my opportunity to wear gowns ended on my wedding day. I still appreciate beautiful dresses, of course. But I will wait until I am standing in line at the grocery store to thumb through People and admire the gowns. The checkout can use a touch of glamour anyway.

The lack of energy, money, babysitters, and time means we no longer go to movies on a regular basis. Having an opinion about which movie/actor/actress/makeup artist/studio lawyer should win and why is pointless and phony when I haven’t seen any of them on screen. We did see “Ray” two nights ago on DVD, and I was happy to hear that Jamie Foxx won. He did an excellent job, but the film left me with more questions than answers. We saw “The Incredibles” at an actual theater, which was nominated for best animated picture and won, according to the newspaper.

So there are several reasons why I find the Oscars less appealing as time goes by. Perhaps, in my busy brain, there is room enough for only one Oscar. And he isn’t bald, dipped in gold, and displayed on a mantle over a gas fireplace in Los Angeles. No, he is green, grouchy, and lives in a trash can somewhere on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.

I created a handy chart that illustrates my point: oscar vs. oscar

It clearly illustrates the inability for Oscars to co-exist, peacefully, in our house. For now.

3 comments to The Rise and Fall of the Oscars

  • Shayne

    So it looks like sometime early in your pregnancy with Sammy was the last point in time when the 2 could have peacefully co-existed! For the first time in many years, I didn’t watch either and I’ve only got 2 kids. Hmmmm. My purple line must have dropped off much more sharply than yours!

  • Momofmopsy

    Cute analysis. I’m sure that purple line will drop in the future but even then, I’m not sure Hollywood will have anything worth watching.

  • Uncle Jim

    Once again, what a creative illustration, very refreshing to read your wonderful creativity

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