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The opposite of informative

My appointment was pointless. I had no ultrasound or exam. I’ve gone to this practice for almost six years and now five pregnancies. This was the first time they haven’t done an exam at my initial prenatal appointment. Their reasoning: I just had an exam in January. Um, that was for an entirely different pregnancy. I didn’t argue much because my stirrup-alarm was going off and I try to avoid them whenever possible. My main goal was to score an ultrasound. The best they could do was schedule an ultrasound tomorrow afternoon.

I didn’t leave empty handed. They gave me the prenatal goodie bag, full of vitamin samples, a copy of “epregnancy” magazine, another magazine called “Plum”, “Baby Talk”, a pregnancy calendar and baby development book. My goodie bag also includes eating guidelines, medicine guidelines, weight gain guidelines, and when-to-call guidelines. I have a travel tote from a formula company, and something from Parenting Magazine’s sponsors called “The Guide to a New You”.

Does a mom on her seventh pregnancy need all this? If they included a home ultrasound machine and a gift certificate for a free massage, that would be a goodie bag that is actually goodie.

In exchange, I left multiple vials of blood for their testing pleasure.

When we got home hubby put the gift bag in the garage. For one thing, the kids do not know yet and I don’t want them quizzing me on why I have a big bag with a baby’s face smiling from the side. The other reason is I don’t want to crack open “Plum” (which retails for $7.95! and makes me think I should start my own pricey magazine) until I see my little plum tomorrow.

I was really hoping I would have all kinds of news to share here today, especially an ultrasound picture. Just when one wait is over, another is beginning. Sorry.

***yes, I changed the title because it occured to me informative sounded better.

6 comments to The opposite of informative

  • I’m so sorry you didn’t get any helpful information today. I am happy to hear you did get them to bend on the ultrasound (even if it does mean waiting a day).

  • hamster

    Your story reminds me of my first appointment when I was pregnant with J. Much to my disappointment, the nurse practitioner took me into a room with a desk and we spent an hour talking about family health histories (what is that disease Rob’s cousin has?). I left totally deflated. Then, at the first appointment where I was in a gown, they couldn’t hear a heartbeat, so down to the ultrasound room I went. I saw our little snowman. I hope you see yours tomorrow.

  • Mopsy, my first time here. Met you through Jasmine’s site.
    About my totally unrelated visit (well, maybe not TOTALLY) when I had to have a hysterectomy and I got my goody bag: I didn’t like mine either. I got a book titled “Hysterectomy and You” with a line drawing of a smiling woman on the front. Yeah, I was real happy to be losing my parts (she said sarcastically). I immediately gave her a moustache because I knew I’d be getting one and I wanted her to look like me. 🙂 Just roll with it and I hope you have great news, Sweetie.

  • mopsy

    Thanks, Paula.

    I am very sorry about your hysterectomy (and whatever led up to it). When I had my loss, I got a goodie bag too. They just can’t let you leave without something that is secretly sponsored by a pharmacutical company.

    Thanks for the laugh, too. Giving Smiling Book Cover Lady a moustache must have been oddly satisfying. I hope you avoided that side effect and don’t have a moustache resembling something drawn on by a ballpoint pen or black Sharpie.

  • The other Gretchen

    I just wanted to day good luck today! I hope everything goes well. I sure hate those dumb waste-of-time appointments too.

  • Crack me up about the moustache. Dear Paula, even taking a bad circumstance and putting some laughter into it.
    I REALLY like your idea for a goodie bag. Market it! You’ll be RICH! Add some TUMS in there for good measure.
    Hope you had peace of mind after today. I won’t be seeing the Dr. for a few weeks. All those questions with a new Dr. My favorite being “are you and your husband related?”

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