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Why Sam’s jacket reminds me of a baboon’s butt coated in Flaming Hot Cheetos

I wish I noted the color of the nail polish Archie spilled on 4 backpacks, 3 jackets, the piano, the carpet under the piano, and on his left palm. Sometimes, the name of the color conveys the intensity of the shade. I am left no choice but to make up names for this shade:

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How to paint your toenails while hugely pregnant

Ladies who are very pregnant in the winter are lucky. They can stuff their swollen tootsies into boots and slippers when out and about. The state of toes is only known to a select few people, like a spouse and the entire labor and delivery department. At that point, nobody is looking at her toes […]