Ancient History

Follow Me?


Why now?

Conventional, worldy wisdom would have implored hubby and I to wait the standard 12 weeks to announce our new pregnancy. The thought behind this is if something goes wrong, you don’t have to untell. You don’t have to put a damper on anyone else’s day by breaking bad news. Some may even harbor superstitious beliefs about telling “too early”.

When I announced my previous pregnancy here, I waited until I was in my eleventh week, figuring I was safe. I had an ultrasound and all was well. The post I wrote on February 1st announcing my pregnancy was, and still is, one of my personal favorites. We also wanted to wait until all of our family members knew our good news, so they wouldn’t find out via blog.

But one of the main motivations behind not telling earlier was fear. Not fear the baby would die or something would go wrong—I wasn’t thinking of that possibility. It was fear of what will people think?

It took us many weeks to muster the courage to tell certain family members and friends because we were afraid of their reactions. Nobody is ever mean or cruel when we announce another baby is on the way. But there is a sense of again? that made us feel self-conscious and robbed us of our joy. Friends and family would pose questions like “don’t you know what causes that?” or “don’t you guys have cable?” It isn’t like our kids are grubby-faced and wild, running in the streets barefoot while I am collapsed in an exhausted heap with my uterus hanging on by a thread. Why do people care so much about whom hubby and I welcome into our hearts?

This time? We don’t care who knows. We know every good and perfect gift is from God.

After going through the loss, which shocked the smug innocence right out of us forever, I found myself wanting to tell everyone about the new pregnancy right away. I want ladies who have been through it to have hope. I am counting on the prayers and support of friends and family from the earliest days.

The days following the loss were incredibly lonely—and that was with many people knowing about it and praying for us. I can’t imagine how much more profound that loneliness would have been had people not known about it. I would have had to plaster on a brave face and pretend that life was swell. A huge part of my healing was due to the fact that I was blessed with so much support. Had we not told, I would have had a sad secret to carry around in silence for the rest of my life. Sad secrets have a way of manifesting themselves somehow, usually negatively.

Look around you and ask yourself who could be carrying such a burden, and could it explain many things about them? I would gladly take on the burden of sharing someone else’s pain if I knew it meant their healing would leave less scarring behind.

It is okay to let people inside our lives. We are supposed to be here to bolster each other, encourage each other, pray for each other. That is why God gives us spouses, family, and friends.

Why now? Because it is happening now, not 7 weeks from now when the world says I can come out from hiding. If it ends in loss, I know I have people who will hold me up. I would do the same in their time of need.

Why now? Because tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us.

6 comments to Why now?

  • Wonderful words of encouragement. I know people are hoping we are finished with 4 but it is none of their business, so I don’t know why they get so ‘concerned’. I lost our 5th pregnancy in March at 7 weeks, I had just told the family that was supportive, and afterwards it got around church via us telling our pastor and I was amazed at the love and support shown to us. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be. There are still some people (even family) that do not know and might never know and you are right, it is like having a sad secret.
    I am happy for you and glad you made the announcement, it encourages me to do the same next time, even after what happened before. Also, it is nice to see someone embracing God’s blessing with joy. Congratulations!
    I had many prayers for our new house so I will pray for your Realtor to get the God map out and quickly find that house God already has for your growing family : ) House hunting is a bear!

  • Thanks for sharing your heart. Amazing how that encourages people.

    You’ll be in my prayers.

  • mopsy

    Thanks Lexie and Jasmine…I wrote this last night during a fit of insomnia. It enabled me to go to sleep, finally.

    We are going out with the realtor tomorrow afternoon and I have high hopes we’ll find something.

  • holly

    Good for you!!!!!! I didnt tell but 2 people the last time and then when we lost the baby, of course everyone found out due to the prayer chain at our church. We were actually told there may still be a chance for survival, so we grabbed that life preserver and held on, but God had other plans. Anyway, a lady at the church came up to me later and said the minute I found out next time I was pregant, tell everyone regardless of what they thought, so that the true prayer warriors would come out and this baby would start out with more prayer than ever….and thats what we did. Its just amazing how much people have to say about others lives…they arent making my boatload of food every night. they dont wash my laundry…they dont do any of it, so why do they care?? I am only worrying about God so the rest can take a flying leap for all I care now! My kids are awesome kids and they are a great testimony, so thats all I need. Congrats again and again and again and again!!!

  • mopsy

    Thank you, Holly!

  • Maria Kunz

    What beautiful words! You can’t go wrong by embracing God & His gifts, & your family is blessed for it!

Leave a Reply

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>