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Pumpkin guts used to intimidate me, before I had children. The cold goo, the chunky soft pumpkin “meat”, and the slippery seeds seemed like a rather gross barrier between me and my jack-o-lantern.
Then the kids were born in rapid-fire fashion and goo became a part of life. Goo is a daily occurance.
Yesterday we carved five pumpkins for the kids and I was excited to go elbow-deep, scooping the goop, squishing the stringy seeds and pulp in my fists. It was fun! But the kids, especially the boys, were disgusted by the process and eventually slunk away from the table, leaving Lee and I to do the bulk of the pumpkin gutting and carving.
It is ironic–they will think nothing of pulling gum off the underside of a restaurant table and chewing it. They will happily splash in toilet water, smear Vaseline through their hair, sample Alpo, eat boogers, and take off a full diaper and “decorate” a crib (Sammy). But confronted with the innards of a pumpkin?
Horror. Stoic shock. Panic. The word “eeewwwww!” bandied about and some hightailing-it out of the room to go do something more sanitary, like drop bath toys in the toilet and fish them out with their toothbrushes.
Here is a picture I took of Sammy, who was in the “stoic shock” camp: 
Ryley, firmly entrenched in horror-mode: 
Baby Joel, attempting to devour his jack-o-lantern: 
And the finished products, gut-free and gloriously glowing: 
Now, a mere 24 hours later, the jack-o-lanterns are beginning to sag. Life is messy, then you sag–the lesson of the pumpkin. But it sure is fun!
With late-October comes the bountiful Hershey Harvest, the gleaning of the gummy bears, the celebration of the sugar. With the influx of candy into the house, I find myself very tempted by the goodies. Too tempted. My top three candy-eating excuses are:
1. My job, as mother of the house, is to check all children’s treat bags for razor blades, poisons, and other signs of tampering. In the course of my duties, it is occasionally apparent that a candy needs to be tasted, chewed thoroughly, and swallowed to insure the safety of said-candy.
2. Many candies are not age-appropriate. Joel does not possess the chewing capabilities Starburst or Tootsie Rolls demand. It is my job to chew these candies when he cannot. He cannot eat jawbreakers, lollipops, caramel, or Sweet Tarts. It all falls on my shoulders, unfortunately.
3. Often, children do not appreciate the more exotic tastes many candies possess. Coconut? Forget it! Almonds? Yucky! The finer European chocolates? Too complex for juvenile taste buds. My heart hates to see the yucky candies go to waste, so I save them from being bitten in half and spit out in disgust. I intervene before hand, saying “You don’t like Almond Joy, remember? Remember last year? You said you were going to die of grossness if you ate it. It has NUTS. And coconut, that white stringy gross stuff that you say is gross.”
Gosh, it is going to be one busy weekend around here, with all the poison-preventing, choking-hazard-candy-alerts, and saving innocent candies from the doom of being half-eaten and in the garbage. I hope I can keep up with it.
In case you haven’t noticed, this is an election year. The campaign fliers that hang out of our overstuffed mailbox is one good clue that an election is occuring. Sometimes I wish we had a giant parrot, since we have so much birdcage liner these days. Our telephone is ringing off the hook with pre-recorded calls, asking us to please please please please vote for so-and-so, or our lives will be forever ruined, the kids teeth will rot, the dog will run away, and my souffles will not rise.
The back-end of every car is plastered with bumper stickers. Half the people driving around today will be too deeply embarrassed to go anywhere on November 3rd. I predict lots of people will be out in their driveways in the pre-dawn hours of November 3rd, razor blades and rubbing alcohol in hand, frantically attempting to remove their bumper stickers. Or maybe they will just wait for all the court challenges to be finished in a few years…
Election excitement has spilled over into our entire household. Several weeks ago, Aidan brought home her “Scholastic News” election edition with a ballot on the back. She wielded her pencil and made a definitive checkmark in the box of her favorite candidate. She based her vote on the picture of the candidate, the pets the candidate keeps, and where the candidate is from. Let’s just say that Aidan prefers dogs with Southern drawls…
It is interesting how keenly aware the kids are of the signs they see in lawns and on the side of the roads. Aidan is a good reader and she notices these signs. Yesterday, when she got home from school, she made her own election sign. If you are weary of the election, or are still undecided, then we have the candidate for you: Boo!
Who is Boo? You should know who you are voting for. Boo is a family nickname for Tommy, three years old in December.
What office is Boo running for? I don’t know. The sign doesn’t exactly say. But it really isn’t any different than most candidates. They may be running for state representative, but they think they are running for King (or Queen) of the World. Not knowing what office a candidate is running for doesn’t stop many voters. Don’t let it stop you from voting for Boo! I am sure he will do a good job.
What is Boo’s platform? Endless macaroni and cheese for everyone, endless lemon yogurt, the right to take toys out into the yard and leave them in the rain (but only for the top 2% of wage-earners), and a national sales tax.
Is Boo a Conservative or a Liberal? When it comes to sharing stomach flu germs, he is a Liberal. When it comes to sharing his crayons, he is a Conservative. Perhaps this picture will illustrate his position. Or maybe not. Is the look on his face indicative of a Conservative, horrified by what he is reading? Or is he a Liberal, who is angry at the misrepresentation? You decide!
One thing I took home from my retreat weekend was the knowledge that God is not a Republican, he is not a Democrat, he is not a Libertarian. He is not affiliated with any political party. He is bigger than that. This year, the country seems so divided, so polarized by the issues. If we can all simply remember that we are in the same boat, one nation, then we can find common ground. I truly hope everyone eligible will vote and will remember that the sun will rise no matter who is in office on November 3rd.
Vote for Boo!
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