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Our baby bird, chirpy and sweet with mouth always open wide for a cracker or whatever mommy is eating, has a broken arm. Joel endured more than 24 hours of parental cluelessness before his broken arm was diagnosed.
On Thursday I noticed that whenever he took a tumble, he would either refuse to stand back up, or only use his right arm. He was uncharacteristically fussy and clingy. We examined his arm and it looked okay. He would have flashes of happy playfulness, though. We were confused. There was no obvious moment of trauma or bad injury. There were no spectacular falls. He is a rough and tumble kiddo who enjoys a good climb and freaking out mommy. But there was no one bonk or boom that stood out from the others as arm-breaking.
Friday morning he woke up quite cranky, again. I called the pediatrician and left a message with the triage nurse. She decided that due to his age he needed to be seen. I thought that would best, too. The physician’s assistant pressed his arm in various spots. His anger was piqued when she got to his lower arm. We were sent for x-rays.
Because of my pregnancy, I knew that I couldn’t go into the x-ray lab with him. Hubby left work early and picked up Ryley at kindergarten and Sammy at preschool. They joined Tommy, Joel, and I in the jam-packed waiting room for what turned out to be an hour and a half of waiting and vending machine worship. 2 bags of Cheetos, 1 bag of Goldfish, 1 bag of pretzels, 1 bag of Skittles, and 1 Twix bar later, Joel and hubby were ushered back to the x-ray room.
The geniuses wanted the six of us to wait even longer for the results. But Joel was cranky, Sammy was wild and even turned off the hospital hallway lights when he found the switch, and Tommy and Ryley were still hungry despite their Cheeto beards. So we gave them hubby’s cell number with instructions to call us with results. I was hungry too, since the last thing I ate was an Eggo about seven hours earlier.
We were in the Red Robin parking lot when the phone rang. Joel’s arm was most definately fractured and he would need the services of a pediatric orthopedic specialist. In our city, those types are found downtown, at Children’s Hospital. They would call us with an appointment time.
Our tummies tackled our brains so we went inside. The waiter took our order and the phone rang again. The appointment was right now. Um, Mr. Waiter…that order you just took? Make it to go! That severely angered the kids, who had just gotten started on their coloring and lemonade.
I took the boys home and hubby took Joel to the hospital in case more x-rays were warranted. Several hours later they came home with a new friend–a large green cast extending from Joel’s little hand up to his little shoulder. The break was clean and should heal nicely. In the meantime, he has a large fiberglass and plaster weapon to swing around and bonk siblings with. He is having trouble with holding sippy cups, but otherwise his resilience is astounding.
He is happy, again.

My intuition regarding the gender of our new baby is non-existant. It could be a giraffe, from all I can discern about what is going on with our Newbie. Therefore, I must rely on analyzing what the baby’s gender is, based on intellectual observations.
The argument for Girl: Our oldest child and only daughter does not want a sister. For the first time, she has made no secret that the baby better not be a girl. With all the previous pregnancies, she begged for a baby sister and even cried upon finding out that another brother was on the way. Her reasoning is “sisters fight” and she is afraid she will fight with her baby sister. We pointed out they will be eight years apart in age and it is very unlikely they will find much to fight about.
She also stated she wants to remain The Princess. Another girl would shave away part of her glittery pink crown, make the luster of her status less dazzling, and make the sparkles and twinkles of her ballgown less sparkly and twinkly. She enjoys her unique status as Girl of the House. Our daughter has been thwarted when it comes to getting her desired sibling–why should this time be any different?
Another reason the baby is probably a girl: it would complicate our bedroom and living arrangement. We need to move and if it is a girl, we are looking at five bedrooms instead of four. We have no girl clothes in sizes under 6X.
It is a girl because that would make things more complicated and we seem to attract everything that is complicated.
The argument for Boy: I have been pregnant with so many boys there must be a little miniature urinal hanging up in there. There must be a spray-painted “no girls allowed!” zig-zagging across the walls, a remote control (but no TV because the reception would be awful), and a Thomas the Tank Engine deluxe playset with Cranky the Crane to help the little guy tick off the boring hours of fetal development. A boy would feel welcome to put up his feet, maybe suck on them a bit, kick me a few times, and dream about joining the rowdy Band of Brothers that eagerly awaits his arrival.
60 fingers can hold a lot of crayons. 60 fingers means a lot of cake batter can be licked. 60 fingers and 6 little noses–you can imagine the rest.
60 little pink toes to wiggle as this little piggy goes to the market for the 10,000th time (what is that piggy shopping for?). 60 little toes to knead in the backyard mud puddle. 60 little toes can make lots of little holes in hundreds of once-white cotton socks.
12 little arms to throw around my neck, 12 little arms to throw around each other’s necks, 12 little arms that can cross in defiance, 12 little arms that can swing a baseball bat, 12 little arms with twelve little funny bones that need to be kissed when bonked.
12 strong legs to propel circles around the backyard attempting to outrun the dog. 12 scraped knees mean that BandAids must be purchased at Costco in bulk. 12 legs that somehow learn to walk, run, jump, skip, and kick.
12 eyes to look into my two eyes that have seen a lot. 12 eyes to blink away tears, errant eyelashes, and dirt that is thrown by a brother. 12 eyes to open wide on July 4th when the fireworks brilliant frenzy booms. 12 eyes to read Goodnight Moon and The Boxcar Children and Charlotte’s Web.
6 mouths to feed. 6 mouths with Oreo goatees. 6 first-teeth lost ($60 from the tooth fairy). 6 “ma-mas”. 6 “da-das”. 6 little puckers pressed onto cheeks. 6 Oral B cartoon character toothbrushes to drop in the toilet.
6 hearts entrusted to us. 6 hearts to protect from breaking. 6 hearts, if they are broken, to help mend. 6 hearts to teach about love, life, friendship, values, and God. 6 hearts that beat in their own unique rhythms.
Right now, five of those little hearts are beating outside my body, growing and amazing me more each day.
One little heart is tucked deep inside of me, beating furiously, ever closer to quickening, but already sown into the fabric of my heart as our sixth child, a blessing beyond belief. We will welcome him or her into our arms this August, God willing.
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