YODA and ANAKIN sit in Yoda ‘s room, deep in thought.

YODA: Premonitions . . . premonitions . . . Hmmmm . . . these visions you have . . .

ANAKIN: They are of pain, suffering, death . . .

YODA: Yourself you speak of, or someone you know?

ANAKIN: Someone . . .

YODA: . . . close to you?

ANAKIN: Yes.

YODA: Careful you must be when sensing the future, Anakin. The fear of loss is a path to the dark side.

Saturday night, while in Grand Junction, hubby and I finally got to see “Revenge of the Sith.” We are always grateful when my parents offer to watch the kids during our visits. Originally we weren’t going to see it because the movie theaters in Grand Junction are terribly outdated—we wanted to see this movie (with such technical brilliance and historical relevance) in a state-of-the-art theater. Realizing it was our best chance to see it, though, we decided to swallow our snobbery and try to enjoy the movie despite lack of stadium seating, cup holders, and decent santitation practices.

Before the movie we went to dinner, where I had a practically-mooing slab of prime rib and a glass of red wine. It must have been the red wine talking because during dinner I mentioned to hubby that maybe I should take a pregnancy test.

After we left the restaurant we went to the same grocery store where I bought the pregnancy test that informed us Aidan was on her way. Then we drove to the mall where the movie theater was located.

It was the second time I found out I was pregnant at a mall. Hubby was waiting outside, fully aware of the life-changing moment going on inside the women’s room. I came out of the bathroom, opened my purse, and showed him the test stick with two pink lines. I think the first words out of my mouth were “I don’t want it to happen again.”

Hubby reminded me that it is beyond my control.

45 minutes later in my cheap and uncomfortable small-town movie seat Yoda and Anakin had the conversation I pasted above.

The fear of loss is a path to the dark side.

I could let fear devour the joy of this new pregnancy, and in a way I feel myself doing exactly that. I feel detached. It feels unreal. It is still really early and so much can go wrong at this point.

But so much can go right, and it is to this knowledge that I must now cling.

Pregnant, I am.