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It’s easy for you to say, Yoda

YODA and ANAKIN sit in Yoda ‘s room, deep in thought.

YODA: Premonitions . . . premonitions . . . Hmmmm . . . these visions you have . . .

ANAKIN: They are of pain, suffering, death . . .

YODA: Yourself you speak of, or someone you know?

ANAKIN: Someone . . .

YODA: . . . close to you?


YODA: Careful you must be when sensing the future, Anakin. The fear of loss is a path to the dark side.

Saturday night, while in Grand Junction, hubby and I finally got to see “Revenge of the Sith.” We are always grateful when my parents offer to watch the kids during our visits. Originally we weren’t going to see it because the movie theaters in Grand Junction are terribly outdated—we wanted to see this movie (with such technical brilliance and historical relevance) in a state-of-the-art theater. Realizing it was our best chance to see it, though, we decided to swallow our snobbery and try to enjoy the movie despite lack of stadium seating, cup holders, and decent santitation practices.

Before the movie we went to dinner, where I had a practically-mooing slab of prime rib and a glass of red wine. It must have been the red wine talking because during dinner I mentioned to hubby that maybe I should take a pregnancy test.

After we left the restaurant we went to the same grocery store where I bought the pregnancy test that informed us Aidan was on her way. Then we drove to the mall where the movie theater was located.

It was the second time I found out I was pregnant at a mall. Hubby was waiting outside, fully aware of the life-changing moment going on inside the women’s room. I came out of the bathroom, opened my purse, and showed him the test stick with two pink lines. I think the first words out of my mouth were “I don’t want it to happen again.”

Hubby reminded me that it is beyond my control.

45 minutes later in my cheap and uncomfortable small-town movie seat Yoda and Anakin had the conversation I pasted above.

The fear of loss is a path to the dark side.

I could let fear devour the joy of this new pregnancy, and in a way I feel myself doing exactly that. I feel detached. It feels unreal. It is still really early and so much can go wrong at this point.

But so much can go right, and it is to this knowledge that I must now cling.

Pregnant, I am.

27 comments to It’s easy for you to say, Yoda

  • Kelly (kelly5050)

    Gretchen!!! Sending so many prayers, positive thoughts, and YIPEE’s your way!!! Yay!!!

  • Stacee Harbour

    Hello from Japan.Congrats!Cecilia thought youwere pregnant and shei s usually right!

  • Madeline (maddy25)

    Congratulations Gretchen!!! Sending you many Prayers and positive thoughts.

  • Tracy (tjly)

    I’m so happy for you!! Congratulations!!!!!!!

  • Shayne

    Congratulations! I have goosebumps! I’ll be keeping you and baby in my prayers.

  • Mary


  • JoAnn

    Congratulations! How exciting! I’ve been waiting for this! Congrats agaiN!

  • Russ Eldredge

    What wonderful news! Congratulations, and you & your baby are in our prayers as well.

  • Hope is the thing with feathers
    That perches in the soul.
    And sings the tune
    Without the words,
    and never stops at all.
    Emily Dickinson

    Congratulations! Sending many XXXOOO’s and prayers your way.

  • holly

    Congrats and try not to worry…I know how hard it is because I miscarried #7 and I am 17 weeks pregnant with #8, but whatever is going to happen will whether we worry or not. Have faith in God and the rest will be okay…. Oh, and please have your meat cooked from now on….ewwww!!! 🙂

  • bro-de-mopsy

    Wonderful news! Are prayers are with you…or as they would say on Star Wars – “May the Force be with you.”

  • hamster

    YAAAY! I think it’s good luck that you found out in Grand Junction. On another note — you really are a movie theatre snob! Don’t you know it’s cool to go slumming? You’ve got to embrace you’re inner hipster.

  • Congratulations! What wonderful news!

  • mopsy

    Thanks to *everyone* for your prayers and kind words.

    To holly: that was my last piece of scarlet meat for a long time, God willing. I am such a goody-two-shoes when it comes to eating during pregnancy (as my caffeine withdrawl headache keeps reminding me).

    Amy, I am a hipster. You know that. As a hipster I declare it is uncool to see movies in bad theaters.

  • Robin

    Woohoo, yippee….CONGRATS!! My prayers are with you :o)

  • holly

    Okay! Good on the scarlet meat thing…. thats just ewwww in my opinion, pregnant or not, but my husband seems to think its okay to eat! LOL. Oh, and one other thing…I completly understand what you meant about the moving thing being related to your loss. My miscarriage was in November. By January, we were looking for a home. Its weird, but to stay where something that drastic happens just seems much harder. We needed the extra space anyway, but I didnt feel the urge to leave until then. My thoughts are with you and I pray this little one will be safe and soon waking you up hourly to eat in about 8 months or so 🙂

  • Maria Kunz

    Soooo happy for you! Congrats, & we’re disappointed we’ll be in faraway Phoenix by the time new baby arrives (send photos!).

  • Found you through your comment at Tertia’s site. I love the way you write! I, too, lost a baby before my last pregnancy – at 14 weeks – and had that little nagging feeling for pretty much the entire pregancy with my little one. It makes us realists and throws out the rose-colored glasses.

    Things happen, for whatever reason, sometimes not even understood by us. And, the lesson I wish I had learned with my last pregnancy was to enjoy it regardless of what happened before. I hope you are able to relax and enjoy your new life and appreciate the miracle given to us.


  • Kim

    Congratulations!!! Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy. May it be an uneventful and boring pregnancy, just like we like it.

    I’ve BTDT and you’re not alone in your feelings. You can let it take over and take away your pregnancy. Or you can embrace it and make you realize just how special what you have now.

    I hope you can soon get to the point of relaxing and enjoying this new one to be. :o) Congratulations again!

  • Congratulations! Though we’ve not met, I’m honestly happy for you. (Strange force this internet is.)

    How cool is it that God has so many teaching tools? My husband has used Star Wars often in teaching our younglings.

    Knock the horns off and run’em across the grill is my motto!
    Strong handsome husband discovered that putting the prime rib on the grill for a few minutes is yummy.

    My sis in law lost baby #2 & #3. With #4, my now 14 yr old niece, God gave her Psalm 1.

    You’ll be in my prayers….Gretchen. 🙂

  • mopsy

    Thanks again, to everyone. And hey, how do you guys get smiley faces in the comments? I feel like such a clueless dork asking how to do it on my own blog—it’s amazing anything ever gets published around here with my technical proficiency.

  • holly

    you just make the symbol for the smile and it automatically shows up as the smiley. You know what I mean right? the : ) symbols. Lets see if the winky one works. 😉

  • mopsy

    Thanks Holly for your explanation…it’s so simple! Here I was picturing everyone doing all that crazy html stuff with the >/<>//> buttons that intimidate me. Trying it:) for myself.

  • mopsy

    It didn’t work!! LOL! Trying again 🙂 I guess this is boosting my comment count, though…

  • Stacey

    Congrats, gretchen. I first found your blog when you were on the August 2005 expecting board – and I am SO glad to hear you are expecting again. Sending lots of sticky baby vibes your way.

    PS – thanks for the posts re: worry, and it’s futility. I really needed those today.

  • holly

    YOU GOT IT!!! 😉 😉 ;( emoticons are soooo fun. Yea on the comment count. Getting pretty high now huh?

  • sister-of-mopsy

    🙂 🙂 🙂 Congratulations!!! You are all in my prayers!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

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