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Look before you sit

We have two cars, three TVs, four computers, and five Whoopie Cushions.

Recently, we were invited to preview a new exhibit at Parker, Colorado’s Wildlife Experience. It is produced by the same people who brought us the joy of sliding down a large plastic intestine into a pile of poo. I also have fond memories of my kids scaling a climbing wall made of the different types of acne eruptions. Yes, it is Grossology, the famous traveling ick-exhibit is now teaching the masses just how gross animals can be.

Anybody with a pet knows this, but we still learned a lot during our night at Animal Grossology. I wrote about it at Mile High Mamas. I realize it’s a Denver-thing, but you can still go say hi even if you live in Nashville or Cairo. I bet there are gross things there, too.

Regarding the whoopie cushions: As a souvenir, our five oldest kids were given their own personal cushions to take home and enjoy. Beatrix was slightly jealous, but soon proved she could make the same noises on cue without a cool red “balloon”. My husband warned them that if he heard one toot on the hour-long trip home, he’d start confiscating. They were angels, but I could tell they were dying to fill the night sky with the sounds of Taco Bell’s company picnic.

Once home, Joel approached me with a wry smile. “Mom, are you gonna work on the computer tonight?

“I wasn’t planning to.” I answered.

“Well, if you do, you’ll probably sit down. Right?”


He tore out of the room, giggling like a mad man.

I few minutes later, I visited my chair. A new red pillow rested on the seat. It looked comfortable.

I sat and made my 4 year old son deliriously happy. Oh, he got me!

A choir of honking, bleating, blatting, tooting, saluting, and trouser barking lulled everyone to sleep that night. I knew it was a novelty that had wear off. It’s like when you repeat a word too many times. It seems to lose it’s meaning.

The whoopie cushions have been silenced. Not by motherly disapproval but because they are officially boring. That’s what overuse will do.

But who knows? If you come over to our house, I’d still look before you sit. Especially if I am giggling for no apparent reason.


Go say hello at Mile High Mamas!

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