Ancient History

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Infinity + 20 Minutes

The allergist’s office does not have a shortage of magazines to flip through during the 20-minute wait after Sam gets his twice-weekly shots.

They have Waterfowl Woodworking magazine. They have Kiplinger’s and Modern Bride. Stacks of Forbes, Seventeen, and the Smithsonian decorate the tables sprinkled around the waiting room. It makes me wonder about the demographic of their patients (I am one too).

1. They are wealthy or trying to become wealthy. In order to afford allergy serum, twice weekly shots, and checkups every few months for asthma and eczema it might make sense for me to pay more attention to these magazines.

2. They are wealthy 15 year old girls with hay fever.

3. They are wealthy 15 year old girls who are already dreaming of strapless wedding gowns but might want to reconsider because of the eczema.

4. They are wealthy 15 year old girls who are preoccupied with planning their weddings, to be held in the portait gallery of the Smithsonian Institute. Only indoor weddings will do because of that pesky hay fever problem.

5. They are wealthy 15 year olds girls who are going to hand-carve flocks of mahogany swans to serve as focal points and centerpieces at the reception following their fabulous Smithsonian portrait gallery weddings.

I don’t have time to seriously read these magazines because I am busy trying to entertain the kids. The only children’s book they have in the waiting room is a pharmacutical company produced propagandic Asthma ABC’s! and I have had just about enough of learning “M is for Mucus!” I know that already.

I also know that Balsa wood is good for making decoys, that Ireland is a great place to invest (quite the boom they have going on right now). I know that green is the new black and vintage bridal gowns are all the rage. It is amazing what you can learn in a mere 20 minutes.

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