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I’m still standing, but I’ll do it while lying down

Sam thinks of life in terms of percentages.

If I ask how he liked dinner, he might say, “42%.”

Oddly, this makes sense to me. I know exactly where 42% ranks. It’s on par with a Denny’s side salad. There’s nothing horrendously wrong with it, but it’s pretty underwhelming. Even with ranch.

I am still not feeling well. It’s been almost three weeks of blah, better, blah, kill me now, improving, I want my mommy, perky enough, blah. I’d say I am at 62% right now.

To those who don’t speak Sam, that’s like a luke warm chicken strip from Wendy’s.

I managed to get out of the house today. I wasn’t a huge threat to public health, but I refused to shake a woman’s hand when I dropped off another round of paperwork at Aidan’s future high school. I have a conscience. I had to get some sick supplies from the store: honey, yogurt, popsicles, french bread.

Ultimately, I overdid it.

When I walked through the door, my husband (who is also sick) took one look at me and sent me back to bed. I’ve got the laptop, my blankie, and burning eyes.

I am frustrated.

11 comments to I’m still standing, but I’ll do it while lying down

  • Boo! Get better SOON!! We have one friend in particular that always uses percentages, and I love it. Like you, I know exactly what he means. “Fine” is so vague and oftentimes used improperly. 😉

  • Oh, friend! I hate this for you! When you are on the tail end of something, it is SO unbearably frustrating to not just BE OVER IT ALREADY.

    What I have always loved about you is your crisp way with words. Denny’s side salad and lukewarm chicken strip from Wendy’s. Got it. Even the plague can’t ruin your wonderful way with words.

    Praying healing thoughts for you, mama!

  • So what percentage would you rank your frustration at?

  • Shayne

    I just asked on FB if you were feeling better, but then I scrolled down and saw the link to this post. Sorry you and Hubby are both sick. That is the absolute pits! Sending healthy thoughts your way (though, coming from a fellow sick person, I’m not sure how helpful they’ll be!).

  • amy

    Oh man, that sounds so bad, I had a winter like that (with illness) when I was pregnant with Augie. Henry had strep last week and when I asked how he was feeling he said 1/2 and 1/4 bad. He and Sam should talk.

  • Melanie

    Ugh! Hope you’re better soon. Being sick is no fun.

  • Oh get better soon – don’t waste the weekend feeling awful… lots of love from all of us…

  • Amy

    Man. I’m sorry you are still sick. Praying you and your hubby start to feel better soon.

  • Jill

    Oh, Gretchen…. praying for you – and hoping you feel much better tomorrow!

  • Dang it. I hate that two-steps-forward, one-step-back stage. It’s frustrating.

    Odds are about 67% you’ll be better by Monday, though. (Right?)

  • Are you feeling better? I’m so sorry you got sick. All of my kids were in various stages of illness last week, and I had days where I felt rundown, but I think I avoided actual sickness with sheer will. Or something. I hope the new week finds you well.

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