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I am not supposed to ice skate.

A college-era snowboarding adventure ended very badly when I fell on my then-bony backside, knocking my coccyx out of place. The tender little bone throbbed for six weeks. My tender little 18-year-old ego throbbed with embarrassment—inside my backpack I carried a baby blue blowup donut to cradle my boo-boo’d booty during classes.

Aidan’s massive noggin kindly moved it again when I gave birth to her. I’ve been instructed to avoid activities where I could violently knock it awry. Ice skating’s inherent dangers include the possibility of denting one’s buns. they must not like having normal coccyx

On a recent mom’s night out with Vashti and Jenn we discovered a hip little ice rink tucked deep inside a new outdoor shopping development called BelMar. The silver Airstream trailer and vintage lights lent it an air of aren’t-we-hip. The skater’s shoes, lined up around curved benches, confirmed we were in the territory of the young and their fully intact and recently massaged spines. Each pair of emptied shoes oozed coolness and possession of a disposible income.

I wanted to skate—to put myself on blades under lights and immersed in kitschy music. I wanted to take the risk. Our dinner earlier in the evening was delicious but the spontaneity I confronted was more delicious. We inquired about prices. Reasonable. We asked about skate sizes. They start at toddler size 8 and go to Michael Jordan. They even had double-bladed and adjustable strap-on models. For several minutes we considered the twirling and non-falling skaters. I think each of us individually concluded if we joined the fray all the magic of the lights, the music, the winter air, the youth, the spontaneity would cease. It seemed like a good idea, but it could rapidly deteriorate into a Bad Idea, a butt-breaking time.

We walked away. I was happy to let my temporary insanity slip away in a noiseless glide. I had a fabulous time that night.

Once, on another blog, I became involved in a discussion about whether moms should indulge in “mom’s night out” with friends. Several women argued mothers should find contentment in attending to the needs of husbands and children—“doing the work God gave you.” Going out is selfish and tells the family they are a burden to be escaped from.

I disagreed.

I am doing the work God gave me even as I eat dumplings at PF Chang’s with other mom friends. I relax, I laugh, I recharge, I share with my peers. I contemplate the ice in my glass and the ice in the rink and have the ability to distiguish if I am taking it too far.

12 comments to Iced

  • Mel

    Anne Morrow Lindberg in “A Gift from the Sea” says every mother should have a day off every week and two weeks off every year. I tend to agree!

    I personally don’t “get” moms who never want to get away from their families.

  • kiki

    I agree, as a mom of an 18 month old boy and another boy on the way, time away from my sweet, precious boy is good for me but good for him! It gives us a new appreciation for each other!

  • I think the danger in things like “Mom’s Night Out” or “Time For Me” isn’t in the activity itself. It’s in the considering it “your right” and feeling discontent or bitterness at not getting it…or having someone take up what you consider “My time.”

    It is definatley fun to get out on occassion. It’s refreshing and makes us enjoy our family more when we’ve been away a bit. And it gives us a chance, as in your case, to cultivate meaningful relationships with others besides our family!

    So, go for it Mom! Have a Mom’s Day out. I don’t get the impression from reading this blog that you are in danger of getting your priorities out of order…or that you resent your family at all for “taking up too much of your time…”

    The ice skating sounds lovely. I went ice skating on my honeymoon. I’m afriad I’m not terribly good at it…but my husband act like he was born in skates (former hockey player!) 😀

    Your description is quite lovely. Sorry about your broken tush! 😛

  • Yes, mom’s nights out are necessary. Not that I ever go on any … but that’s my fault since Tom doesn’t take a bottle. But someday.

    I broke my tailbone ice skating when I was a teenager. It still hurts from time to time. So believe me when I say I feel your pain.

    I’m glad you had a good time out with the gals.

  • Oooh, I feel your pain. Tyler’s entrance into the world did a number on my tailbone. In fact, I heard it “pop” when it broke. YIKES! It sure takes a long time to heal, I sure can understand your hesitation to iceskate.

    Sounds like you had a lovely time without hitting the ice.

  • Do you still have the baby blue donut as a keepsake? You could’ve strapped that on. 🙂 I’m sure it would’ve blended right in w/the hipsters.

    Funny you should mention the mom’s day out thing. I just picked up my 4 from 2 days & 2 nights @ Camp G’ma & G’pa’s. (They are the best in-laws.) I had 2 fabulous late owl nights and a faboulous day of 2 girlfriend times and some planning time.

    Then there’s the whole issue of caring for my home as being the work God has called me too. On one level it is, but that’s not all. I haven’t detangeld all those thoughts yet. If they ever make it from brain to blog, I’ll let you know.

    BTW, love the pic.

  • Sometimes a mommy’s night out is just what it takes to refresh me and help me be a better wife and mother! I have heard the same argument and it doesn’t sit well with me!

  • Thanks for the great night, Gretchen! My post on the evening is up!

    As far as mom’s night out goes, everyone needs a diversion, a change from their regular routine. A time to recharge one’s batteries. I think it makes me a better mother and wife.

  • Sounds like a fun night even without the skating. I’m not sure I believe that being a wife and mother are all God has planned for me. But even if that’s the case, taking the time to refresh and recharge certainly makes me better able to do His work, whatever it may be. Glad you gals had fun, but not so much so that you find yourself sitting on inflatable donuts to blog about it!

  • Oooooo, PF Chang’s. I’ll meet you there!

  • mopsy

    Alas, I no longer have the baby blue blowup donut. It is clogging a landfill.

  • Hi Mopsy, We have snow too! Enough for a snowman and some sledding! YEAH!

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