Ancient History

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Maybe now is not the time to share a laugh my husband and I had on our way home from the ultrasound—but it is sticking to my ribs and it is making me smile. Under my new circumstances as a thrice-miscarrying woman, I have the ability to approach this storm in my life by looking it straight in the eye. Call me the Miscarriage Whisperer. I won’t be beat in the end.

As we drove home, I talked about how I will always link this baby with summer, our trip to the beach. Heat and light, strawberries and snapdragons. The calendar flipped from June to July and now to August. I told him I had been calling the baby Summer. He said it was a better name than Remmus—which is summer spelled backward. Earlier, in the waiting room, I read a little article about the iffy trend of naming babies things like Nevaeh, which is Heaven spelled backward.

Except I misheard him. I thought he said Summer was a better name than Grimace.

Yes. Grimace is a tragic name, reserved for purple piles of googly doofy goo. Summer is far superior. I am not a big fan of naming babies after times and places but in this case I will make an exception. She was Summer, breezy and intense and gone too soon.

Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning.
~Psalm 30:5

There is more summer ahead, on our calendar and in my heart forever.

(regarding how hilarious we found “Grimace”…you probably had to be there)

12 comments to Grimace

  • I always loved the names Summer and Autumn for girls. Isn’t God good at giving us laughter, the best medicine, at just the right times?


  • Ah Summer. It invokes so many emotions and memories. I’d hoped this one would be different. Summer brings a smile to my face, and I hope it always will for you too.

  • Paula

    You are so strong to weather this with such grace. My thoughts are with you.

  • Starr

    One of Valerie’s best friends is named Summer. My Grandmother threatened to name my Spring (born March 20th) if she didn’t like what my mom came up with.

  • I am sorry, Gretchen. Your words are beautiful as usual, though.

  • Julana

    I once worked with a woman named Autumn. She had three sisters named Winter, Spring, and Summer.
    No kidding.

  • I think Summer would be a wonderfull name.

  • Lovely, even when not there 🙂

  • Rae

    I am sorry, and glad for you, too, that you have this kind of strength in your faith and in your marriage. One day you will find little Summer and the others… I have been holding on to this lately, too.

  • I’m so sorry, Gretchen. I see how hearing Grimace would have made you laugh. Hugs.

  • We were driving in the van, and I was counting seats, imagining the kids who will not sit in those seats, since we are officially done. I started wondering what my daughter would have been like had she been born, and I began to wonder if I would ever not miss her. Which led me to thinking about your recent posts, which led to a feeling of deepening sadness . . . then suddenly I pictured you having this conversation, and I got the giggles right there on the freeway. I hadn’t laughed when I read it, but maybe it’s one of those things–you have to be walking the edge to appreciate both sides.

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