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Gender-specific Advice and Observations for New Parents

A certain family member ( you know who you are, padre) does not want to know the gender of the twins my brother and sister-in-law are expecting. This is your opportunity to avert your eyes and find another website to visit, like

Here’s the advice:

1. The fashion choices (alluded to in another one of my entries found here) are not as much fun as the other gender, but your little guys will still be adorable in whatever they are wearing. We have about 28 giant Rubbermaid tubs full of boy clothes that promise to keep your boys looking like pro athletes that moonlight as tractor-driving Komodo Dragon smugglers. Unless we need them. Then you can get your own boring boy clothes. Whoops, did I say “boring?” I meant “one-note”, “uninspired”, and “yawny”.

2. Boys themselves are not boring, one-note, or uninspiring. They more than make up for what they are wearing by being adventurous, loud, sweet, and affectionate. Your heart will melt one day when one of them refers to the other as “my bruder.”

3. Everyone always focuses on how diaper changes with a boy are dangerous. Don’t be afraid of a little fountain of pee arching toward your eye. It is sterile. You are washable. So is he.

4. I hope one or both of them will decide to wear a superhero cape everywhere you go for about a year. Be on the lookout for this tendency starting at about age four. I wonder if there is a genetic component in cape wearing? At least they don’t have a big sister to embarrass…

5. You are so very blessed to be welcoming sons. I often look at my little guys when they are huddled together and think of the men they will be someday. It is a priviledge to be allowed a hand in raising good men. Doesn’t the world need a few?

6. All the stitches in our house? Boys. All the hospitalizations? The boys. Closet-door breakers? Boys. Milk guzzlers? The boys. The ones who will cost $2,800 a month to insure on the cars when they are teenagers? The boys.

7. The big wedding? The prom dress? Not the boys.

Congratulations on the snips, the snails, the puppy dog tails.

4 comments to Gender-specific Advice and Observations for New Parents

  • Momofmopsy

    Your ground breaking, been there done that, boy hurding will come in handy to the new parents. God knew what he was doing when he put you guys close.

  • Shayne

    Awwww, it’s nice to be reminded that it truly *is* a privilege to be raising boys. I sometimes get caught up in envying all my friends swimming in a sea of pink with their daughters and all the cute clothes and ribbons and barrettes. At least I rarely have to worry about fixing my boys’ hair!

  • Aren’t Aiden and Nichole so lucky to have an army of brothers and cousins to come to their swift rescue when being chased by boys looking for their affections. From my wonderful daughter I have glitter all over my house, she’s like tinker bell leaving trials everywhere she goes. Having boys does have it’s advantages. 😉

  • bro-de-mopsy

    We just wanted all the free boy clothes that we’re sure to get!

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