Ancient History

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Eleven Things About Traffic Court

1. Nobody talks. There are 50 people in one room. Even people who come together do not talk to each other. But then…

2. A guy breaks the ice by saying, “It’s (CRUDE FOUR-SYLLABLE WORD) hot up in here!” and the most prim traffic offenders nod in solidarity. Including me.

3. A young woman, possibly an older teen, is there to support her boyfriend. She’s dares to break the tension as well: “Oh mah gaw! Why is everyone so SERIOUS?!”

4. You can tell who has been there before. They have a bit of a swagger as they lead the pack to the correct check-in table.

5. Men outnumber women 4:1.

6. You drive very, very carefully when you are on your way to traffic court.

7. You drive even more carefully when you leave because you never want to go back.

8. Everyone was significantly early. The upside: No warrant out for your arrest because you showed up on time. The downside:

9. The order in which they call your name has nothing to do with when you arrived.

10. If your case is dismissed, you feel like tackling the city attorney and covering her in kisses.

11. Case dismissed.

Joel ~ 2005

2 comments to Eleven Things About Traffic Court

  • I’m sorry, is that child using his proper signals?

    I’m going to need to see his license & registration!

    Glad they didn’t lock you up & throw away the key! Part of our traffic safety class back 15 years ago was that we had to spend an entire day at traffic court, writing down what people were in trouble for & what the punishment was. Very educational!

  • Gretchen

    Uh-oh. He isn’t wearing a proper restraint and appears to be standing in the cab. TICKET.

    That would be educational, but highly boring if the students came on No Proof of Insurance Day. Everyone was there for the same reason. I had/have insurance but couldn’t find my card in the glove box because the tears cascading down my face and the flashing lights from the police car blinded me (that was going to be my sob story for the prosecutor and judge.) I was pulled over for something silly that would have just been a warning. But when I couldn’t find the dumb card—and it was there the whole time—suddenly I had a full-blown court appearance.

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