Poison Control Operator: Poison Control, how may I help you?
Me: Uh, yes…my son just ate part of an old and rather stale gingerbread house…
PCO: How old, ma’am?
Me: Three years…
PCO: The gingerbread house is three years old?
Me: Oh, no. My son is three years old.
PCO: What is the weight?
Me: Just eyeballing it, I’d say maybe a pound and a half? Two pounds? Aidan, go get the scale!
PCO: I was asking for the weight of your son.
Me: Before or after a bath? Uh. About 34 pounds.
PCO: How much of the house did he consume?
Me: Well, he ate some of the roof tiles with little red and green round candies. I’m not sure what they are—roundish. Gumdrop Lane is gone, and Grampa Gingerbread is headless. His right arm is dangling by a frosting thread. Some of the icicles are chipped off. The starlight mint over the front door is streaked, as if someone has been licking it. In fact, a lot of the candies appear to have been licked repeatedly. The foundation seems unstable. I’d deem the damage to be comparible to a Category 2 hurricane.
PCO: Is he coherent?
Me: Somewhat. He keeps calling himself “The Big Bad Wolf”—is that normal?
PCO: We see it sometimes with petrified icing exposures. Gingerbread houses, in general, induce grandiose behaviors in at-risk kids, specifically little boys of preschool age.
Me: Will my son have any lasting damage?
PCO: With any luck, no. He may have an upset stomach for a day or two.
Me: So I don’t have to induce vomitting?
PCO: No, he will do that on his own, and most likely on a day when you have many activities and errands planned. Do you have any other poison emergencies?
Me: Well, there’s this fruitcake sourdough starter* in the back of the fridge…
(originally posted on December 9th, 2006 and edited* to reflect the present…photos are 2008’s kid-decorated gingerbread house which is still fully intact after two days)
That is a nice looking gingerbread house! I’d be tempted to eat it myself…
Bonnie’s last blog post..Moot Point
Good work kids!
Heth’s last blog post..Why I Haven’t Been Blogging
They did a great job! I’m making my kids wait until next week to make theirs. I *know* my 4yo will be eating it for a pre-breakfast snack, so I’m waiting til closer to Christmas, so it will seem to last longer LOL. I love the little candy decorations – the snowman and the tree. Did they come as part of the house kit, or did you buy them seperately? (Or did you actually bake the house yourself?
Gretchen (the other other one!)’s last blog post..Many Pictures, All Still in the Camera
I am laughing hysterically! Very very funny!
Happy Mommy’s last blog post..Thanksgiving 2008
I recognize that house. Didn’t Britney Spears used to live in it?
feefifoto’s last blog post..The Kids Don’t Need To Hear My Opinions On Everything
So funny. Do you save the houses? There was a time I tried, but by the next year, I nixed it. Gosh, we haven’t made them in years. I wonder if Ethan would be able to/or want to make one.
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It does look good enough to eat….
Peter is making one at school today and grandma is going to help. I can’t wait to see it.
BTW, hearkening back to your snow day post, it actually DID snow in Houston on Wednesday! It didn’t stick though, since it had been 75 degrees on Tuesday, but it sure brought a smile to everyone’s face!
That’s why ours go bye bye immediately.
Stop me if I’ve told you this already – we got to spend my hubby’s 40th birthday at the ER because my daughter ate a bottle of vitamins. Turns out you can’t overdose on the gummy vitamins, which is why they sell them in those huge jars but you can only get Flintstones in the small jars.
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