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The woodchoppers

Springtime brings thoughts of bulbous robins, drenching rains, and flowers powering through soil and winter’s debris. It also brings to mind gruesome family folklore. Tonight, the woodchoppers will come.

Woodchoppers visit people who go to bed with dirty feet. According to my dad, who heard the tale from his dad, who probably heard it from his dad, a woodchopper’s job is to chop off the dirty feet of little children who don’t wash them before bed.

After one of the roughest winters in recent history, we are enjoying springtime loveliness. Warm, breezy, too tempting for a kiddo to resist—the socks and shoes flew off my two little guys this afternoon. Their feet are filthy. When I saw the four grimey paddies I thought to myself “woodchoppers!”

So, I trade one chore for another. The work of bundling, mitten-stalking, and neck-muffling is nearly done. The kids will begin rolling inside at night covered in yard, sweat, popsicle, and ditch. I’ll inspect their feet, shake my head, and send them to bed unafraid of woodchoppers.

They haven’t found me yet.

6 comments to The woodchoppers

  • We are also enjoying the spring weather.

  • Oooooh woodchoppers, that’s a good one. Makes me shiver a little just to type it! I’ll save it for AFTER we replace our filthy carpet which used to be a lovely shade of cream. I tried the “no shoes in the house” thing-yeah, it doesn’t work if the kids are running all day in the moldy, slimy gutters and splashing in algae infested retention ponds barefoot! The woodchoppers might need to be “old family folklore” for us too.

  • Eww! That *is* gruesome. LOL!

    Oh I am SO so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so, etc, happy to trade the sloppy, wet, snowy, muddy, drippy, space-gobbling winter chore of snow-dud upkeep for the stinky, grassy, dusty, sweaty, sticky summer chore of hosing down the kids.

  • I stopped by to invite you too our fabulous cyber cruise that starts now on Friday the 16th of March with many fantastic destinations such as: Sweden, Norway, Belgium, Spain, Germany, Alaska (!), US, Italy, Dominican Republic, Australia and other mystery destinations!

    Welcome to cruise with us 🙂

    ….Though No dirty feet on my ship 😉


  • Oh My Goodness! It’s a wonder you weren’t afraid to go to sleep at night. But, — I have to admit that I laughed when I read it. I guess parents didn’t worry as much about psychological scarring in those days. I would have hidden Dad’s ax!

  • This is great! I love the woodchoppers!

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