Ancient History

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She gathers data like other girls gather daisies

The kids and I are in Grand Junction for their second spring break.

On the way, Aidan kept a record sheet of every brown, blue, and green sign we passed.

Tally marks noted the number of freshly-thawed waterfalls.

An inventory of out-of-state cars was built. The Carolinas, Minnesota, and Washington were represented well.

Quotes from the other passengers were noted for posterity.

Tunnels were heralded, as they should be. Respect the tunnel. It’s the only thing keeping 100 million tons of rock from crushing you into a leaflet.

6 tunnels became 5, then 4-3-2-1-None.

The 250 mile trip included me driving away from the McDonald’s in Rifle, Colorado without getting our food. I paid. I just didn’t bother to pull up to the second window and wait for the avalanche of Happy Meals.

The mistake was discovered quickly. I parked and went inside, told them breathlessly I was the one with all those Happy Meals but I wasn’t at the window. Much confusion. Much embarrassment. Much dork.

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