Compartments

Ancient History

Follow Me?

Instagram

Merry Christmas, Emperor Palpatine

The Emperor is the little guy above Yoda, on the bottom right. I hope he likes his candy cane.

merry christmas yoda

Doe

“I’ll be late for dinner.”

“Why?” I moaned. It was already velvet-dark and tummies were rumbling.

My husband explained something mysterious happened on his way home from work. While driving on a busy highway something black came out of nowhere and crashed into the side of his truck. The back window of his extended cab shattered and a large dent had been knocked into the side of the truck’s bed, above the driver side back wheel. He speculated that someone sideswiped him or something fell out of another vehicle. After making sure he was okay, I looked up the sheriff department’s non-emergency number for him. He would call back when he knew more.

Picturing him on the highway was painful. It was cold. Cars would zip past indifferently, piloted by drivers distracted by the worries of their days. Maybe it was one of those drivers who did something to my husband and his truck? I stewed and speculated. The phone rang.

“It was a deer.”

It never occured to either of us that an animal was the culprit. The highway was so busy. The timing was quite incredible. The deer managed to miss every other car, darting only feet in between cars in order to perfectly barrel into the side of my husband’s truck. The sheriff’s deputy noted the blood on the glass and hair stuck in the bumper.

After assuring me the truck was in driveable condition, my husband made his way home. Delivered pizza and a very-relieved, very-kissy wife greeted him.

Had he left three seconds earlier, he would have missed the deer. Three seconds later? The front of his truck would have crumpled and his airbag would have deployed. Losing control would have been a given.

The shudder stayed in my spine overnight. I thank God my husband is okay. When he leaves each morning there is a sense of sending him off to battle. He doesn’t meet Barbarian hordes or hairy men named Attila or Genghis. But he fights for us. The foes are clean and housed in cubicles. Office politics are flaming arrows shot his way. When he solves a problem for a client, he solves us through another day, another week, another year. It is thankless.

I am here, warm in our thicket. My eyes search the night. I wait for him to get home.

Redux

Originally posted on December 21st, 2004 but utterly relevent:

Christmas Shopping Haiku

Want the “free” gift wrap?
It only costs six dollars
Looks like an eyesore.

Santa is scary
Beard like albino ferret,
Food court taco breath.

Parking lot stalker
Do you think my space is close?
I assure you, it’s not.

Parking lot stalker
You idle hopelessly long–
Six* kids to strap in.

The busy bathroom,
Dancing and anxious they wait
Regretting eggnog.

Food court carousel
Spins festively fast around,
Unwise location.

Carousel rider
You appear rather greenish!
Next time eat after ride.

I am next in line
So why do you crowd in front?
You must be special.

My ears just fell off,
Too weary from “Silver Bells”
Played ten dozen times.

Bags full of presents
They will say “I love it!” but
Re-gift it next year.

*the original haiku stated “five” kids