It is universally agreed that if one turns on one’s car and acrid smoke billows from under the steering wheel, repairs are in order.

The upside of watching smoke pour into your car as you attempt to back down your driveway to go to Costco? You get to see how quickly you can unbuckle your Halloween-costumed little ones from their carseats and book it into the house, knowing it was not a drill, repeat, not a drill. I was rather sprightly for someone so fat with child and bewilderment.

Rather than buy milk, eggs, bread, coffee, waffles, big cookies, grapes, cubed butternut squash, paper towels, a bouquet of fall flowers, interesting sausages, chicken nuggets, pasta sauce, and eating lunch sampling food, I just handed keys over to a tow truck driver.

Smell ya later, car.