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And the Oscar for puppet show script goes to…

Ryley and Sam were charged by a teacher at school to create a puppet show for kindergarten and first-graders. This is what they wrote. They, along with some buddies, presented it yesterday to an audience which included Joel. He loved it. I think it’s really well done and funny, too. But I am their mom so I think nearly everything they do is charming.

Ryley and Sam proudly present:

Animals of the Continents

Narrator- Some time ago… in a world far far away, there was a little alien boy who found a book in space about animals. He found out where they live. So he asked his mom a question.

Alien Boy- Mom, can I please go to Earth?

Alien mother- No there’s nothing fun to do there, its empty!!

Narrator- So that night the alien boy snuck into his dad’s telaporter, set it to Earth, and within one flash he was gone. Then he got to Earth and landed on a big white fluffy thing.

Alien boy- Ugh! Where am I?

Polar Bear- You’re on top of my back. GET OFF!!

Alien Boy- Amazing! Incredible! But how!?

Narrator- The polar bear knew the alien didn’t understand animals, so he told him about what animal he was.

Polar Bear- You see, Polar Bears like me live in cold continents. I eat seals and fish. My hobbies are swimming in the ocean with my webbed paws, and seeing my cousin Joe, the grizzly bear.

Alien boy- Now that you’ve taught me about polar bears, can you show me the other animals on the continents?

Polar bear- Sure, we’ll head for North America.

Narrator- And so those two traveled from Greenland to The United States of America. When they arrived, many animals awaited the alien boy.

Duck- Hello, I’m Quack and this is Shawn the dog. We are glad you’re visiting.

Narrator- Quack and Shawn explained what they were and what they did.

Alien Boy- I’m glad to have met you but my friend and I are traveling to Europe to visit the others.

Shawn- I have an idea! How about Quack and I come with you?!

Polar Bear- That’s a great idea! Follow me!

Narrator- So the four friends kept walking til they reached the Atlantic Ocean.

Alien Boy- Oh boy…….how will we get across this ocean?!

Shawn- Yah! How will we?

Polar Bear- Well did you think about using the boat your standing next to?

Alien Boy- Uh, no. I didn’t.

Narrator- The boat was a hassle from 5:30 to 6:40 but they finally shoved the massive boat into the sea. 2 weeks later Shawn spotted land!

Shawn- Land ho!

Alien Boy- Is it England?

Shawn- Can’t tell, but I can make out these animals waving at us.

Polar Bear- They must be the animals we’re meeting.

Quack- Finally, I thought I’d die on this wooden ride.

Narrator- So after our friends got off their ride, they saw a huge shadow lumbering over them.

Shawn- Show yourself!

Narrator- The huge shadow came out and was a large grizzly bear.

Polar Bear- Joe! It’s nice seeing you again!

Joe- Hello cousin! Long time no so see!

Narrator- So the two talked and talked and talked til a strange, loud, and extremely close noise was heard in their presence.

Alien Boy- Huh? What is that noise?

Polar Bear and Joe- Oh No! Not him!

Narrator- All of a sudden, a seagull crashed on the beach.

Alien Boy- Who in the world is he?

Joe- He is Henry, the loudest seagull on the beach!

Henry- Yup that’s who I am.

Narrator- So the two new friends taught the Alien about them.

Henry- Well, my hobby is getting my nose stuck in the sand.

Joe- And I like to….

Henry (interrupting)- watch fish jumping into….

Joe (interrupting)- my mouth, it’s not polite to interrupt, sheesh!

Narrator- After the little talk, the friends moved on. Then they heard small thumping. For some reason it was being heard on every tree every once in a while.

Alien Boy- Another weird sound again?!

Polar Bear- Not weird! Relaxing, smooth, enjoyable! It’s a woodpecker pecking a tree. One of the most soothing sounds in the world.

Narrator- The friends crept up to the tree where the woodpecker pecked into the giant tree trunk.

Woodpecker- Uh, I’m sorry for the fuss of the sound from my work.

Polar Bear- It’s not that. My friend the Alien would love to hear of your hobbies.

Woodpecker- Okay. My hobbies are pecking trees and flying around parks.

Alien Boy- We’re on a roll!!…………..But where now?

Quack- How about an African savanna! I heard there are lots of animals in Africa!

Shawn- And Africa is not so far away!

Polar Bear- So? Why don’t we go?!

Narrator- So our friends hopped on their boat, hoping they would get to Africa. Then, one day later….

Shawn- Land ho!!

Henry- Well I hope there is a hot dog stand there because I’m starving!

Polar Bear- We have twelve hot dogs and we didn’t eat any!

Narrator- Besides Henry devouring hot dogs, the boat washed on the African savanna. Meanwhile, on the hot African savanna, a hippo and a lion were in a fight.

Hippo- Get off of me or I will get you off…….WITH MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!

Lion- Nah, I would just like to stay here for the rest of my life. YOU CAN’T HURT A FLY!!!

Hippo- Alright, you asked for it!

Polar Bear- Would you guys stop it!! While you’re doing that, I have a question. Would you answer a question from this Alien Boy?!

Hippo- Okay we’ll stop.

Lion- Uh, ya, what he said.

Alien Boy- What animals are you?

Lion- I am an African Lion the top of the food chain on the savanna. I mostly hunt for food at night. Male lions like me have manes while female lions do not. I like to roar very loud.

Hippo- I am a Common Hippo found in only Africa, I am the biggest of the three species of hippos. Now hippos do something very strange, they sweat blood! But it’s not blood, it’s actually a type of sweat called blood sweat. It helps keep the animal cool. I like to sit in water all day.

Alien Boy- Wow! Those are some very interesting facts, hey, do you want to come with us?

Hippo- I guess…..

Lion- Sure why not?!

Narrator- So our new friends followed our original friends til they heard something in the bushes.

Joe- I wonder what that weird noise is?

Quack- Uh….Henry? Are you coming?

Henry- No no no! For one reason I have to go to the bathroom, and reason two I haven’t finished my seventh hot dog!

Narrator- So Henry stayed back for the reasons he described. Meanwhile, our brave heros kept hearing the strange noise still around. Then, out of the bushes came an African Elephant.

Elephant- Sorry, I just love to eat the bushes.

Alien Boy- That’s okay, but can you be kind enough to tell me about you?

Elephant- Sure. Let me think……..I love to eat bushes, grasses, and trees. I am the largest land animal today, and I’m currently on a diet of peanuts.

Alien Boy- Well we best be on our way. If you want you can follow us on our adventure around the continents.

Elephant- I’ll come with you. Theres nothing to do but gobble bushes. So sure!

Narrator- After our friend stopped chit-chatting, they started heading to the deepest park of Africa. Soon Henry got back in the group.

Woodpecker- Where were you all this time?!

Henry- After I went to the bathroom, I went back to England to stick my nose in the sand a dozen times.

Woodpecker- Nice to know Henry, nice to Know.

Shawn- Uh…..guys?

Woodpecker- Why do you stick your nose in sand?

Shawn- Uh…..guys?

Woodpecker- If thats your hobby, you need to find a new one!!

Shawn- GUYS!!

Everyone [But not Shawn]- What!?

Shawn- That tree just moved! Are they supposed to do that?

Quack- No! Besides, I don’t even think it’s a tree!

Narrator- The creature lowered it’s neck. The thing stepped out of the dark. It was a Giraffe!

Giraffe- If I scared you I’m sorry but I love to spook animals sometimes.

Alien Boy- Another animal! Can you please tell me what animal you are?

Giraffe- Sure, I’m a Giraffe. I love eating plants, my long neck can be in good uses like grabbing leafs from high branches.

Alien Boy- Awesome! Are we done yet?

Polar Bear- Yep! We showed you all kinds of animals and now were done!

Narrator- Now all the animals went back to their homes and did their hobbies. Their alien friend lives on a island now but he visits his friends once and a while. And everyone was happy!

The End

My bookends en fleurs

This past weekend:

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Beyond posting photos, I have nothing.

May is too mad to delve into much more than late blooming blossoms, end-of-school exhales, and dreamy anticipation of summer.

I cook dinner in Johnny Appleseed’s hat

If history’s greatest ghosts start showing up in our backyard, it must be May. I still haven’t recovered from last year’s sightings and here they are again! This year’s crop of dead historic figures was skewed to more modern times, with one notable exception. I’ll begin with him.

John Chapman, also known as as Johnny Appleseed, was spotted lounging in the grass near our plum tree. I suppose he appreciates all species of fruit trees. He was a good guy and appears to be a happy sort. Legend says the animals loved him, too.

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On a rainy afternoon, just when I was feeling the world was a cold, grey place indeed, Charlie Chaplin landed with his umbrella. He shivered a bit, but entreated me to smile. How could I not? The Little Tramp is still good for a laugh.

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Mon dieu! Who’s the wise-looking old gentleman in the red knit cap? What was he doing? It appeared he was demonstrating his superior swimming skills thousands of miles from the ocean. I had to ask what was going on. Air swimming is odd. He informed me with crisp friendliness he was Jacques Yves Cousteau, undersea explorer extraordinaire. A-ha!

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Who’s the leader of the club that’s made for you and me? W-A-L-T D-I-S-N-E-Y. Technically, he created the world’s most famous mouse. And amusement parks. Plus movies, TV shows, and just a massive empire. Not bad for a poor kid from the midwest. Handsome, talented Walt graced our backyard with a smile and boundless energy. It was great to meet him, but I had a few bones to pick with him. Could he do something about Miley? I was dying to ask. I refrained.

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Mon dieu redux! France was well-represented amongst the backyard friendly ghosts this year. It was nice to have a stylish, feminine presence in the form of Coco Chanel. I was a little intimidated as I snapped photos wearing slippers and a stained shirt. She was gracious enough to not say anything. I took comfort in the memory of her words: Elegance does not consist in putting on a new dress.

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Miss Chanel once stated: How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.

I think all of this year’s historic figures understood this idea. That’s why they show up in suburban backyards every early May. I can’t wait to see who shows up in 2011.

The class of 2009: I get to wash Abraham Lincoln’s socks

(Our kids’ school celebrates Night of the Notables every May. Students choose an important historical figure, usually based on their interests. They must dress as their chosen Notable, present a speech in character, and write papers, gather props, make posters. It’s a huge undertaking. It’s over. I’m glad.)