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A serious case of The Pregnant Summers, interspersed with photos to lighten the mood

First things first: I would like to apologize to the gentlemen in the rest stop men’s room in Eagle, Colorado. I saw nothing but your backs. Thanks for not turning around when you heard me say that bad word. It wasn’t the king of bad words, but it was filthy enough to make me slap my hand over my mouth as I ran to the WOMEN’S room just 3 feet away. I took extra long so you’d have a chance to clear out.

We’ve been away. I didn’t look at my blog for 9 days. I didn’t look at yours, either. I didn’t post at Facebook or Twitter and I lost track of what was going on in the world, unless it was in the happy, humble valley where I grew up.

Last week, I drove 250 miles to my parents’ house in Grand Junction with the kids for a little getaway. We spent the week doing summer things, eating summer food, soaking in the high desert sun, and attempting to relax. My husband stayed behind and worked until Friday, when he made the drive with the dog to join us for the 4th of July weekend.

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More than once during our week away, I wondered what I was thinking. I drove 250 miles with 7 children while hugely pregnant. My parents were a tremendous help and allowed me to be lazy on the couch or patio chairs. I didn’t cook or contribute much to the daily household needs.

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There were many times I was beyond uncomfortable. I couldn’t walk long on our outings without having to find a place to sit and be lame. Playgrounds were chosen based on if they had bathrooms. Our plan to stroll around the downtown shops and boutiques one day deteriorated into visiting a toy shop and a restaurant.

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Some time, remind me to tell you about the meltdown I had at a Motherhood Maternity store at the local mall.

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The kids had a blast, though. While I was being a slug, my parents showered them with all sorts of fun activities at home and away. I was present at every activity, but more as a spectator. It was great watching the kids have a wonderful time. I was reminded again and again that it was worth every ache and swollen ankle.

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Plus, my husband and I got to go on a very rare date Saturday night.

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We returned home yesterday. The drive was horrendous. Apparently, every citizen of the Denver metro area drove to their parents’ homes in faraway cities for their own getaways. Then, in a moment of imbecilic groupthink, all 500,000 households thought it would be smart to return on Monday afternoon via I-70 East. What was supposed to be a 4 hour drive turned into eight hours of stop and go torture, heavy on the stop.

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I can’t blame heavy traffic for all 8 hours spent piloting The Brick while my husband, the dog, and rotating children followed in our non-behemouth vehicle. I had to stop a few times to walk and visit various rest stops along the way. One was in Eagle, Colorado.

The men’s room is on the right.

…people like lists (vol. 7)

1. We saw Toy Story 3 on opening weekend. It was clever, poignant, laugh-out-loud funny, and bittersweet. It won’t surprise anyone that I cried multiple times, because that’s what I do. A character named Big Baby pretty much broke my heart. I came across this article outlining all the easter eggs Pixar places in their films. The continuity is astonishing and demonstrates how they think in the long term. The most interesting aspect is that characters from multiple films seem to know each other.

2. I thought I’d share a recipe that is dear to my husband. His late great-grandmother used to make this and he gets very wistful when thinking about it. It is easy peasy to make. I can’t vouch for the taste, however, because I loathe cream cheese if it isn’t molten and disguised by loads of Frank’s Hot Sauce. I also don’t like blueberries if they aren’t tucked into the folds of a fluffy muffin.

Blueberry Pie

1 can blueberry pie filling
8 oz. cream cheese
1 tbsp. milk
1 Hershey bar
10 oz. Cool Whip
1 9-inch baked pie shell

Put blueberry pie filling in the baked shell. Whip cream cheese in a blender with about 1 T. milk. Pour cheese mixture over blueberries. Grate 1/2 of the chocolate bar over the cheese. Pour Cool Whip on top. Grate the other half of the chocolate over the Cool Whip.

3. McDonald’s is being sued by the Center for Science in the Public Interest over Happy Meal toys. Apparently, it’s the toys in Happy Meals that attract children to the restaurant. The food is secondary, but somehow that secondary food is making kids fat. Here is a statement from the CSPI regarding their lawsuit (emphasis mine):

“McDonald’s marketing has the effect of conscripting America’s children into an unpaid drone army of word-of-mouth marketers, causing them to nag their parents to bring them to McDonald’s,” CSPI’s Stephen Gardner wrote to the heads of the chain in a letter announcing the lawsuit.

A private company is at fault if a parent can’t say no to her child? My kids have never asked to go to McDonald’s because of a toy they are featuring. I will go to McDonald’s and buy Happy Meals to get the Madame Alexander dolls they feature every few years. I admit it. I nag MYSELF.

4. One of these fine summer days, I am going to make Kool Aid play dough. I found the recipe at Scribbit. I bought 3 packets for 15 cents each and extra flour, so we’ll be ready to roll on one of those days when boredom is beating on the door like the Center for Science in the Public Interest. I really don’t like playdough because it gets everywhere. It spreads. But I thought I’d try this because at least it will smell good as I am chipping it out of the carpet.

My mom thinks they will want to eat it. She could be right.

5. Could you have used a diaper on your wedding day? Some say this is an urban legend, others claim they are very real: Bridal Diapers! The idea is that your dress takes 20 minutes to put on and to take off. What to do if a potty emergency arises? You don’t have to worry if you are wearing a special diaper designed just for your big day.

You can say you knew him when…

I went to church camp several times during my young teen years. One summer, I went with a small counselor-led group on an afternoon hike. We got lost. Eventually, we poured out of the forest onto a two lane highway. In the days before cell phones, we were left with one option: Hitchhiking!

A pick-up truck stopped. We rode packed together in the back, laughing. Exhilarated. Oh, the looks on the other camper’s faces when we roared through the gates. We were the heroes of the day.

Ryley went to camp last week. He didn’t hike, swim, make a birdhouse, or hitchhike.

He played a cover of Led Zeppelin. He, along with his fellow bandmates, wrote three songs. Last Friday, they performed their set in front of a live audience. Plus, they made a CD.

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That’s the life of a kid who goes to Rock & Roll camp. Seems much safer, no?

I wrote about it at Mile High Mamas. It was one extraordinary week that culminated in tears (for me). Something about seeing my baby boy perform lead vocals on an original song….

He was exhilarated. He was the hero of the day.