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Offguard

I am not ready.

Confirmation came in the form of a surprise trip to Labor and Delivery. During a routine non-stress test in my OB’s office, the baby wasn’t being reactive enough—meaning very little movement and flat hearttones. Variability in heartrate in response to movement is a good thing to see during a NST. It wasn’t being seen. On to the ultrasound…

My fluid level was 7, which is low-normal. The baby wasn’t doing any practice breathing motions. The biophysical profile score was six, so I was sent to L&D for further monitoring. The baby eventually perked up enough for us to be sent home.

Here I sit, bouncing on my big red ball and thinking about the events of today.

The big swinging security doors of Labor and Delivery parted for me. I was escorted to Room #2. A baby warming table, replete with the striped institutional receiving blanket stood at attention in the corner. Gulp. I am not ready. I am not ready!

The scare was a kick in my nose, the bee in my pants, the smelling salts in my bonnet. It got my attention.

Please, if you are so inclined, pray for the safety of the baby in these last few weeks. I hope today’s events were just a crazily lazy baby and not the sign of anything serious. I worry about how he/she (yes, even after today’s ultrasound we still don’t know the gender) is doing, but I also worry if I will recognize when and if something is going awry. I have the misguided tendency to explain things away.

25 comments to Offguard

  • Mopsy, how far along are you? (you don’t have to answer that) – could they take the baby soon? Those sort of seem like indications that maybe it’s time to come out?

  • mopsy

    Rach—I am still in the iffy lung-maturity grey area. My doctor said she would have delivered today for sure if I were two weeks further. I’m having more NSTs, AFIs, and another BPP (just seeing how many abbreviations I can get in one sentence) next week and am under instruction to do my kick counts faithfully.

    At this moment, baby is squirmy and I am feeling more positive.

    But we know how that worry lurks…

  • Tracy (tjly)

    Did they give you steriod injections just in case Gretchen? Many hugs and prayers for your sweet baby.

  • mopsy

    Tracy—no. I am beyond 34 weeks, when “they” say steroid injections aren’t beneficial anymore. I was going to ask them about doing an amnio to check for lung maturity, but the baby started being more reactive—enough to make my OB grin for the first time in a few hours.

    Still. I’m nervous.

  • Praying, praying, praying. Father, we know you who have all things prepared in advance for us know the very timing of this baby’s life and arrival. We pray very earnestly that you would protect this little one. Keep him or her safe. And healthy. And kicking. And calm the heart of Gretchen and her family. Please bring that peace that passes all understanding to them as they seek to trust you with the life of their little one.

    And please, please, please, protect this precious baby. Bring him/her safely into the world.

    Amen.

  • Prayers coming your way.

  • Prayers and hugs for you and the baby!

  • What Megan said. I will be praying for you and thinking of you. And in this case, I wouldn’t explain things away–better to overreact than under.

  • Oh Mopsy, praying for you and your sleepy baby. She is just trying to scare you. That’s what girls are for, right? Turning mom’s hair gray?

    I am glad she is kicking around now, and I will pray unceasingly that you will be delivered of a healthy, happy baby when the time is right, and not one second before!

    (And, in case you hadn’t guessed, I STILL think baby is a girl.)

  • Praying and praying. Keep us posted.

    BTW, my daughter was born happy and healthy at 34 weeks, with no complications.

  • Lots of prayers going out tonight for mommas and babies. My prayers are with you too – right after I click submit.

  • Julana

    Hang in there, Mopsy. Everything is under control.
    I’ll pray for your baby, too.

  • You have my best wishes and good baby vibes!

  • Lifting you up in prayer. The Lord is in control of all things and knows exactly what His plans are for you and this child. His will be done.

  • Amen to Megan’s prayer and agreeing with Inkling — I tend to explain things away, too, but in this case it would be better to go the other way. Hopefully he/she was just having a quiet time. Will be praying.

  • Praying! Right now! And, will continue through the day.

  • Praying that the Lord will give you peace and will watch over this little one (I still think it’s a girl, too) in the coming weeks. Hoping s/he was just having a lazy day yesterday!

  • I’ve been reading your blog for the last year and I just want to let you know I am thinking of you and know that all will be well – that girl will have plenty of time to be active once she joins the rest of the crew! You won’t be able to catch her!

  • Thinking of and praying for you.

    You’ll be ready when you need to be.

  • Praying for you and baby. How far along are you now?

  • I am praying for baby & you. I would be very nervous too. I am glad they are watching you closely. I hope he/she will be here soon!

  • Gretchen (the other other one!)

    How scary! I’m so glad the baby decided to start moving again, but I know that can’t stop you from worrying right up until he/she is born. I’m glad too that your dr was patient and didn’t jump to a delivery too quickly. I sure hope the baby was just really sleepy. Best of luck in the next month, I hope the baby starts kicking so much you get tired of it!

  • Jenni

    Oh Gretchen, how scary. I pray that baby stays good and active right up to the point of delivery and beyond! Thinking of you and the wee one…

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