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Aidan has homework.

She must gather, categorize, and display 1,000 items. The project is due tomorrow. We have known about it since last Friday and have been encouraging her to decide what 1,000 items she would like to use in her project. The items must not take up any more space than a poster board, but do not have to be displayed on a poster board. She also has to write a paragraph explaining how she completed the project.

Her ideas: crumbs, pieces of thread, pieces of string, pennies, uncooked beans (emphasis hers), and cookies.

Our idea: fallen leaves. Yardwork + Homework = Genius Parents.

Aidan did not like our idea. She felt it was very boring and the leaves would die. Attempts trying to explain the leaves were already dead were met with passionate refusals to consider that possibility. What if I get 1,000 flowers? Only Donald Trump’s wives ever see 1,000 flowers in one room and they better not blink.

She had a similar project back in the Days of Whine and Runny Noses, also known as second grade. She had to collect 100 objects to celebrate the 100th day of school. We used 100 Froot Loops, glued on posterboard in the shape of a flower. Later in the year, when she brought the project home, Tommy found it and ate some of the Froot Loops.

Inedible, small, inexpensive, numerous, easily obtained, easily displayed—we need 1,000 of such things. Maybe she could take me to school tomorrow with a sign hung around my neck. In her best print, the words will be written in alternating Crayola marker colors: 1,000 Grey Hairs.

Maybe her teacher won’t notice I am slightly larger than a posterboard.

9 comments to Numbers

  • hamster

    What about 1,000 of those sprinkles that you use to decorate cookies?

  • Alternating Crayola marker colors should be the theme color of the third grade.

    Good luck with your project Aidan! I’m sure it will turn out great.

  • moms_s_t

    How about 1,000 scraps of paper? I’ll gladly donate and overnight them for your use. I probably have enough for the rest of the kids also ;o)

  • I’ve got it! 1,000 air molecules. She could bring a jar full of air.

  • How about 1000 finger prints. This might take both front and back of posterboard. I have plenty on all of my windows and glass doors if you want them. Or…She could just go around with a little stamp pad (washable, of course) and start collecting from all those around her. We each have 10 so 1000 shouldn’t take too long. LOL. Good luck.

  • Would your grey hairs be visible? Because you know they’ll have to see it to believe it. She could just hold out her hand and say, a thousand pores.

  • mopsy

    Laura, they would be visible (the roots at least). And I don’t think I have quite 1,000…yet.

  • What great ideas. You’ll have to give us an update.

  • Oh the thought of it just makes me cringe! We had enough trauma and drama in our house when Kylie had to come up with 100 of something, I just pray she never has a teacher sadistic enough to require 1,000! I’m sure Aidan came up with something wonderful!

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