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Math for English majors

Years ago I read if you take the number of cricket chirps in a given amount of time, then plug the number into a formula, you can accurately estimate the outside temperature.

I theorize the same principle applies in winter. When you let your dog out at 6am, time how long it takes her to pee. Then, when she comes back to the house, count the number of frantic scratches at the door you hear in five seconds.

It took our dog 2 seconds to pee. She scratched at the door 249 times in 5 seconds. Because I might find myself defending my thesis in front of an international board of mathy-types someday, I will keep the formula I developed a secret for now. But it is dead right:

-13 below this morning.

The dog knows.

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