Ancient History

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It has always been my private conviction that any man who pits his intelligence against a fish and loses has it coming. ~John Steinbeck


When Sam announced the class goldfish was up for adoption, I knew I was in trouble. Keeping two-inch long marigold slivers of fate and bubbles alive for more than a few weeks is beyond my capabilities. My first set of fish, won from a Vacation Bible School perfect attendance raffle, lasted the summer until my sister put perfume in the bowl so they’d smell better. Several other fish dodged in an out of my life over the years. I signed the consent, figuring he would be competing with 25 other first-graders for the privilege of being chosen guardian to a Carassius auratus.

Juicebox the Goldfish came home today. He is nervous, flitting around in a bowl we bought for a Beta nearly a decade ago. I saved the bowl and a bag of blue rocks, with an inkling that someday I would need to be prepared for my six-year-old son to exit a school building with a Hefty zip-top bag containing his new best friend.

I will do my best to preserve fin and gill.

9 comments to Juicebox

  • You and Heth can truly commiserate now!

    My parents have a serious tank with some gorgeous specimens, so my kids have to get their fishy fetishes fulfilled over there.

  • Aquarium count this morning…9 living, 2 dead. I hope you have better luck than we do.

  • I hope the fish survive. I always have a hard time with gold fish. If they shuld not make it I have heard a lot about betas they are super easy to take care of and they have a longer life expectendency. Char

  • Shayne

    I love the name Juicebox! Hope he does well at your house. I had a tank when I was 10. The only things left living after the first month were the guppies, which happen to reproduce at an astonishing rate. Rabbits got nothin’ on them!

  • sister-of-mopsy

    Oh, I forgot that I did that! I think it was Tinkerbell perfume… Good luck Juicebox, may the force be with you! A few words of advice to the kiddos… the American Girl perfume is only for humans, fish don’t eat coco puffs and they don’t like to be dried off… One last thing, don’t fill the fish tank too full of water, that’s how I lost poor bubbles… he flipped out and I found him on the floor 🙁

  • Wasn’t that the name he wanted Beatrix to have? He and my son would soooo get along. Landon’s imaginary friend is Jingle Bells. He wanted to name our baby Fireball….

    Anyway, good luck with the fish. We can’t keep them alive either. My two year old nephew threw our last one at the wall. Not cool. His name was Number.

  • I had a little row of graves outside my bedroom window: Rainbow 1, Rainbow 2, Rainbow 3 . . . but my worst fish fiasco occurred when we turned off the heat while away for Christmas. Poor chilly beta. I did not save the bowl.

  • Fate and bubbles. That is perfect. Maybe that is what we should name our two….fate and bubbles. (they are still alive just in case you were curious) May you live long and prosper little Juicebox.

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