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I tired

Me Gretchen and me no sleep.

Wakin’ in middle of night make me mad. An sad, too. Eyes get open and don’t close again for hours. I look at clock. It have red letters. Oh wait, dey might me numbers? I don’t know. Outside it so dark and da bugs are LOUD and I hate dem. I think about window. I can close, but I get out of bed to do that. No close window with awesome power of mind. An if I get out of bed, must put peeps in da potty. No flush. Wake others. Then all hopeless and fertile. Or feudal? Futile? Me have no idea.

Get up cause bed as restful and nice and smart as big bag of dirty diapers. Don’t want to be in it nudder minute or day. Go downstairs. Stupid stair squeaks might wake kids. Hope not. Don’t need company now. Just want relax! Why no relax?

Turn on computer. Know it will be boring. Internet boring. Or maybe I find sad, sad story and cry. Always happen. Then worry, a lot. What if I have brain tumor in elbow too? Could happen. Been sore lately. Okay. Internet really dumb now.

TV help? Push button wif remote. What on? Didn’t know could buy toys for grownups at 2am. That kind of gross to call stranger and say send me dat, here credit card number and address. Fresh Prince Bel Air on too. Again. Dat Will Smiff talented guy, even when haircut look like wedge of cheese. Go kitchen, get some cheese. Come back. Maybe watch videos on MTV. Weep for youth. Maybe watch videos on VH-1 Classic? Weep for lost youth. Dose days were when I no need sleep. Ha! I took for granted.

Now I disgusted, but little tired. Get drink water. Check locks on doors. Still locked. Turn off light. Go back upstairs. Eyes not used to dark. Kick toe into bed, of course. It only been dere for three years, not enuff time for clue? So I get back in my bed an pull covers up over shoulder. Still worry. Brain still thinkin of everything possible in universe, all at once.

Suddenly, feel baby kick hand. First time. It so good. I realize what been bugging me, really. I say prayer.


Wake up, not able to think. Get up anyway cause dog outside barkin and kids loud downstairs. Thoughts still fuzzy. Will be long day, but happy day.

Maybe sleep tonight?

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