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I draw the line at CPR

He makes a good point.

A Denver man named Jeff Peckman wants the city to create a panel, whose purpose will be to create plans to deal with space alien crashes within city limits. Peckman is in the process of collecting signatures to get the issue on the November ballot. He notes:

“It is important because if you’re driving down the highway and you saw a crash of a small spaceship and a car or a bus full of kids, you really wouldn’t know what to do,” Peckman said Thursday. “Do you wait for the hazardous materials experts to show up because of potential contaminants from another solar system? What do you do? People really don’t know.”

I wouldn’t know what to do if I happened upon a crashed or disabled spacecraft. If the alien was thrown from the craft, I suppose I’d hold noddley appendages in a comforting manner while trying not to make much eye contact, simply because my eyes could be outnumbered and that is intimidating. Maybe I’d get our picnic blanket out of the back of the car to cover the alien so it won’t go into shock as we wait for the ambulance. I’d let the alien keep the blanket, because I am nice that way. I could dab some bottled water on the less viscous areas of it’s “skin” while I whisper calming thoughts into what appears to be an ear. I hope it’s an ear.

The story is here.

15 comments to I draw the line at CPR

  • Ummm, is this guy for real? I’m guessing if a space craft crash landed in my backyard the very last thing I would be thinking about is what is my first responder response?

    Ha! Those Denver folks. They better watch out or they will go the way of Boulder, reputation wise…

    Megan’s last blog post..34 and Counting

  • Ann

    Oh I am cracking up! I love your title for this post! I would offer the alien Reeces Pieces. They were ET’s favs. I loved reading the peoples’ comments after the article, too. It would be great fun if they actually let this thing go through. Gretchen, see if you can go to the meeting and give us a report on it heeheehee!

    Ann’s last blog post..Hairdo!

  • Where and how do you find this stuff?!? HA! LOVE it every time.

    Sarah’s last blog post..I Can’t Remember…

  • You know, this is something I have asked myself many a sleepless night. What *would* I do? I just don’t know, and it makes me uneasy.

    I really think Mr. Peckman should take it one step further, though, and form an Extra Terrestrial Identification Panel. Because how many times have you wondered to yourself, “Was that *really* a dog licking it’s own behind, or was that a being from a distant planet, trying desperately to communicate with me?” Or stepped on partially melted gum stuck to the pavement, feeling guilty as you wondered vaguely whether it was really gum or an alien life form?

    This man is carrying a heavy burden. I hope he gets the support he needs. We need a grass roots movement like this to sweep across the nation.

    (Ok, seriously, I am going to be laughing over this article–and your hilarious post–for the rest of the day. Too funny!)

    Jamie’s last blog post..Nothing to see here, folks, nothing to see.

  • Gretchen, do you subscribe to the National Enquirer or something? Ha!

    Title = Perfect

    Heidi’s last blog post..This Photo Needs a Caption

  • Obviously, Mr. Beckman is a California transplant.

    Kelly @ Love Well’s last blog post..Must … Tell … You … This

  • Seriously…what a nut case. I mean oh yeah, I really think about what I would do in that situation…this guy needs to join the rest of THIS planet!

    noble pig’s last blog post..Miley Cyrus, Spitzer Hooker and Paula Abdul…Oh My!

  • Hilarious!

    Suzanne Temple’s last blog post..Number Six

  • I think you WOULD rush to the help of the poor injured aliens. You’re nice like that.
    Does that article mention that the worried man lives with his parents? I believe it does.

    Rebecca’s last blog post..I am endlessly blathering Friday

  • Aaahhh yes we do need a plan for everything now don’t we… LOL

    Howdy’s last blog post..A Picture to Ponder…

  • Oh boy, I can’t wait to finally know what to do in the event that space aliens arrive. It is really going to get sticky when Denverites begin responding to illegal aliens with the same response as space aliens. But they will be within their legal rights.

    Joanne’s last blog post..Oh Baby, part 2

  • Crack me up.

    Heth’s last blog post..New Favorite Ceeyo

  • If I can get someone to pick my son up from school, I think I’m going to go to the hearing on Thursday. It should be amusing, if only to see the reactions of the City Council members.

    Seriously, though, I wonder what the city WOULD do in the case of a crash landing? It’d be nice to know up front if the mothership crashes next to my Jeep, am I going to be quarantined or will I be allowed to leave the scene after giving a report? Do I need to make alternate arrangements for my kids in the case of a crash? Do I need a living will type document to determine temporary custody of our children in the case of my husband and I being out on a date (like that ever happens, ha!) and a spaceship landing next to us?

    These are things to consider. Screw the aliens, they can take care of themselves. What about ME?!

    Alice H’s last blog post..Light Rail sign at Union Station

  • That is way to funny!

    Happy Mommy’s last blog post..$15.94

  • My sister-in-law said that she saw a TV show that said such a protocol was developed by the Belgian government, and I teased my husband, whose country-of-origin is Belgium.

    Now he can tease me.

    Ann Kroeker’s last blog post..Indiana Voters-in-Training

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