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Fred is dead

The kids ran out of chewable vitamins a few days ago. Yesterday, I stopped at the store for a few things. Vitamins were on my list.

The Flintstones vitamins seemed to be the best value. Big jar. Big jar is my friend. Usually, I buy store brand vitamins, but I am irritated by how easily they crumbled and broke in the bottle. Plus, they smelled weird.

I didn’t count on mass confusion this morning as I cracked open the new bottle. As usual, I poured a small pile into my palm so the kids could choose which one they wanted. They gathered around. What are those?

“The new vitamins.”

“Where are the animals?”

“These aren’t animal vitamins. They are Flintstones.”

Judging by the looks on their faces, this meant nothing.

Sam tentatively chose a purple vitamin. He examined it closely before announcing, “I got a guy with a manatee nose.”

“That would be Fred.” I noted.

Tommy looked at his orange vitamin. “Mine is a girl.”

Aidan wandered into the kitchen and pulled his hand to her face. “I think it’s that one guy’s wife.”

I told them Fred’s wife was Wilma.

“No, I think this is his friend’s wife?”

“That would be Betty.” I said.

Tommy considered Betty before biting her in half.

“Tomorrow, I want the brachiosaurus.”

I almost choked on my oatmeal. “His name is Dino.”

When I bought Flintstones vitamins, it never occured to me that my kids have never watched, um, The Actual Flintstones. Any familiarity they have with the show comes from commercials on Boomerang and about ten minutes of viewing the dismal Rosie O’Donnell/John Goodman live-action version when it showed on basic cable once.

The younger kids thought they were eating random barefoot people dressed in shaggy clothes and bones. Plus a dinosaur and an alien, whose name escaped me. I googled him and learned his name is Gazoo. Tomorrow, if a child asks for the guy in the football helmet, I will say, “Oh, you want Gazoo.” I have to maintain my authority as an old person, born in the 1970s.

Side rant: Why include Gazoo? That would be like a bottle of Scooby Doo vitamins including tiny crunchable Harlem Globetrotters and fruity Phyllis Dillers. Remember when the show went off on that pointless tangent with guest stars?

It’s ironic that I just wrote about all the characters they know and love and how Beatrix’s birthday cake came to be littered by a large sampling. It makes me feel better they don’t know every cartoon out there.

Sorry Hanna and Barbera.


Fred is dead.

21 comments to Fred is dead

  • I’m so sad my kids don’t know Flintstones. And the Great Gazoo! Loved him! I did download on iTunes the Flintstones Theme song so they have a little of the 80’s culture I grew up with! That and the Dukes of Hazzard that they watch with their dad. While I’m not so keen on my girls getting style tips from Daisy Duke…

    Angela’s last blog post..A little gift that isn’t frankincense, gold or myrrh

  • amy

    Over the summer I was on a mission to expose my kids to the pop culture legacy of my childhood via. Netflix. They hated The Flintstones but thought Gilligan’s Island was hilarious. The Karate Kid was an abysmal disaster – I swear I remember that being a good movie at the time.

    I’m somehow comforted that they still make Flintstones vitamins.

    amy’s last blog it’s time to say good-bye

  • Oh my, that is too funny! I would never had thought of the fact that they wouldn’t know who they are! I agree with Gazoo though!

    Dawn’s last blog post..Cheerleading

  • I never noticed Gazoo in the bottle before. Maybe it is just a different type that I get. It is weird that our kids aren’t growing up withthe same cartoons, though. Not altogether a bad thing, though.

  • I guess my kids wouldn’t know who they were either, now that you mention it. And I know exactly what you mean about those generic animal vitamins smelling weird.

    This post made me laugh…thank you!!

    Llama Momma’s last blog post..Supermom is a figment of my imagination

  • I didn’t remember Gazoo until you explained him, even though I’ve probably seen each Flintstones episode 5 times.

    Hopefully some of the cartoons I grew up with are available on DVD so Anja can get a chance to see the “good stuff”!

    Heidi’s last blog post..Maybe I could borrow her Pacifier?

  • Sadly, The Flintstones, like all the early Peanuts films, are too quiet and non-flashy for today’s kids. I still love the Great Pumpkin.

    feefifoto’s last blog post..The Winner Of The Fame Contest

  • This is hysterical. I love the brachiosaurus.

    Beth – total mom haircut’s last blog post..A wedding with some Martha Stewart

  • I’m sorry, I can’t grieve for Fred. I never really liked the Flintstones. (Except for Pebbles.) I think it bothered me that they — or at least Fred and Barney — walked with their arms so stiffly by their sides. I firmly believe that cartoon characters should be more flexible.

  • For my husband’s 40th birthday, we made a trip to the ER. He left the cap loose on the bottle of vitamins and I walked into the kitchen to find our two-year-old chowing down. We have no idea how many she ate.

    We learned something new that day. I’ve been buying the gummy vitamins because they are the only ones that come in a bottle big enough to get through a month. The reason they come in a bottle that big is because they don’t contain iron. Which means you can’t overdose on them. It cost us $200 to find that out.

    Alice H’s last blog post..Gov. Palin at the Jeffco Fairgrounds

  • It happens to the best of cartoons.

    Remember a few years ago when the Disney Channel introduced Mickey Mouse Clubhouse? It was a blatant move to introduce Mickey, Minnie and Co. to the younger generation, who, the Disney execs were startled to learn, couldn’t pick Mickey out of a line-up even though they watched the Disney channel all day.

    But it made sense. The old cartoons weren’t played anymore, and the new shows (Rolie Polie Olie, the Wiggles, etc.) didn’t mention him. So they invented something new to make sure Mickey lived on with the new generation.

    Maybe that’s what you need to do, Gretchen.

    Kelly @ Love Well’s last blog post..Teyla: Eight Months

  • What? No Barney Rubble????

  • You think they’d have Pebbles and Bam Bam over Gazoo… or were they there too?

    Nini’s last blog post..Friday’s night out

  • Too funny! My kids had no idea who they were when I used to give them those vitamins either. They never understand my references to Smurfs either. *sigh*

    We went to Disney World last month and there were quite a few times the kids were puzzled by the dancing characters around them. They didn’t know a lot of them. Honestly, neither did Hubby and I.

    Nicki’s last blog post..Hey Abby!

  • man, i lo-ved flinstone vitamins! i loved the flinstones cartoon, too. it never even crossed my mind that our little ones won’t have a clue . . .

    katherine, senor elefante’s last blog post..ha! i won!

  • Including Gazoo is kind of silly!

    My kids would probably not recognize them either. Flintstones cartoons still make me crack up! I always wanted to look like Betty!

    Randi’s last blog be honest…

  • Tonyia

    Oh, the timing of it all! I just told my m-i-l on Sunday that I am going to be Wilma Flintstone for Halloween this year and my ten yr old daughter asked me, “Who?” Oh so sad. It’s a shame that so many of the cartoons we grew up with have been replaced. The newer ones (Chaotic? YuGiOh? TMNT- Fast Forward?) They just aren’t as good to me as say… The Smurfs, Flintstones, Tom and Jerry… Fraggle Rock and ThunderCats…

  • Now if you want to introduce your children to the classic Flintstones you can get season one from target for only 35$….
    My kids hated it. The would much rather watch the dancing singing Backyardagains

    Happy Mommy’s last blog post..The bear and the ballerina

  • That is so hilarious!! My daughter knows about the Flintstones, but only because of a box set borrowed from the library. My Hubs is a HUGE cartoon fan and we watch all the “oldies”.

    I guess I have never thought about the younger generation not knowing those good cartoons.

    Valerie’s last blog post..Mommy Guilt

  • They probably also don’t know that we once powered our cars with our feet dangling through the floorboards, running.

    Susannah aka Petunia Face’s last blog post..It’s a Little Gritty But Nice Nonetheless

  • I love Amy’s idea to expose her kids to the stuff from her childhood.

    “manatee nose” Love it.

    Heth’s last blog post..Marathon Training: 20 Pancakes

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