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Feat

Do you have a part of your body which seems to get injured more than another?

In the past three years, I have had a badly-sprained ankle, a broken big toe, a contusion on top of my foot, and I dropped a frozen-solid pork roast on my toes. This past Saturday, I ran a door over my right baby toe, which caused it to snap, turn black and blue, and swell to the size of a thumb.

I told my husband that no other body part has let me down as much as my feet. Then I remembered my uterus.

Anyway, I spent the weekend lurching around the house, icing my toe, complaining, and being useless. Yesterday, I had it x-rayed and since nobody has bothered getting back to me with the results, I assume it isn’t broken. The doctor said to keep it elevated and rest. That’s all one can do for injured piggies. Especially if it’s the one who says, “Wee wee wee” all the way home.

As I waited to be taken back to x-ray, I noticed a spider crawling on the tiled floor. It is strange to see a spider in a hospital, I realized. It’s like seeing a bare-butted elderly gentleman in my basement.

I watched the spider navigate its way to the carpeted waiting area, where I sat. Several people nearly stepped on it, but he kept spidering-on.

“Did ya smash yer toe?”

I was startled out of spider-watching by another captive. He was talking to me.

“Yeah. Ran a door over it.” I answered.

“Well, don’t get gangrene.”

“Okay.” I promised.

I looked back to where I last saw the spider. It was gone. The waiting room was quiet. Nobody wanted to be there.

9 comments to Feat

  • I’m with you on the uterus thing. No broken bones here, just a broken uterus.

    I used to consult with healthcare environmental services, and the spider thing is mildly disturbing to me. Check for dusty vents, uncovered linen, over-full needle boxes and open housekeeping closets next time you’re there.

    anonymouse’s last blog post..catching up

  • A bare-butted elderly gentleman in my basement? You are on a roll.

    I hope your toe returns to it’s regular size soon.

    Heth’s last blog post..How To Keep Your Baby From Crying

  • Oh, Gretchen! I’m so sorry.

    And yes, I injure my toes and my knees all the time.

    Sigh.

    Robin’s last blog post..Day 28

  • Ah, poor little toe. Poor Gretchen!

    Love the bit about the spider. You have such a gift for teasing gorgeous threads of thought and meaning through your writing, like the spider.

    And the bare-butted elderly gentlemen? Hilarious.

    Goslyn’s last blog post..Ta Da!

  • Ever since I broke all the toes in one foot when I was a kid, I have had foot issues. I’m constantly banging them into things. They are not that big – honestly!!

  • Jenn

    “It’s like seeing a bare-butted elderly gentleman in my basement.”
    — I totally just snorted!!

  • I wonder what it must be like to be able to compose such striking portraits of life with such a keen eye and sharp sense of focus? And to think of things like bare-butted elderly gentlemen?!

    And yes, please do not get gangrene. Very important.

    Megan@SortaCrunchy’s last blog post..Happy Three to D!

  • Sound advice. Don’t get gangrene. You should listen to the man.

    Cyndi’s last blog post..Good News Bad News

  • Oh, my nose! Marcia Brady and I mourn in sympathy. It was already crooked to begin with, from the time my baby brother snapped it by sitting on my face while wrestling. My perfect beauty is flawed, alas. At least you can hide your toe!!!

    Inkling’s last blog post..A light.

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