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Could have been…

Had The House of Mold worked out, today would have been the kids’ first day of school. Sammy would be at Kindergarten right now. Ryley would be settling into first grade, and Aidan would be the proud third-grader. I can’t imagine not having them here, at home with me today. Their noise, their squabbling, their bargaining (“mom, if I pick up 10 toys can I play the XBox?”), their needs, their elaborate popsicle stick and glue projects, their hugs and kisses, their boundless energy…all these things are good for my still-stung heart.

As I sit here sipping my coffee and thinking about how different life would have looked, I am so grateful it didn’t work out. That is an overwhelming realization, however. If God’s wisdom is recognizably wise in retrospect, then it is wise at this very moment. It is wise all the time. It doesn’t mean I have to like it or have the capability to understand it. I don’t and I don’t.

Somehow, He has a way of disarming me when my fist is shaking at Him. He takes my fist, stops it, opens it, and places a mere slice of his wisdom to mingle in with my sweat and tears. It is so big, it becomes harder to make my fist.

I don’t like it, but it is done and it is what it is.

6 comments to Could have been…

  • 15 days to go! Your new house is waiting for you. The beginning of your new life as a Westminsterite!

  • mopsy

    Hey, Nini. Shouldn’t you be posting your about the final choice for the name of the pie? Why do you think I am still online this morning? Because I enjoy it? Well, I do, but I am waiting to read your announcement.

  • moms_s_t

    A new chapter to begin in your life G. A new season to start.
    Romans 15:4
    For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

  • rossmomma

    Isn’t it amazing how things seem to work out? I’m so glad that you are able to be surrounded by the hugs, kisses and sticky fingers of your little ones when you need them so much.

  • jasmine

    We never have the foresight to understand such things, do we? Glad you found the right home and it all worked out, I still can not believe you looked at so many homes.

  • mopsy

    Ugh, I know. We looked at about 25 houses before we found the House of Mold and I thought that was a lot. Nobody believes we looked at 92 houses—who does that? If I were getting married, though, our realtor would be one of my bridesmaids. We are that close now.

    We close two weeks from tomorrow. Your whole situation is bewildering, too.

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