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A list of anniversary gifts, Lifenut-style

What if anniversary gifts were based on what happened during our various years of marriage? I thought about what would have made appropriate gifts. Here’s my list with Traditional, Modern, and Lifenut:

First Anniversary: Traditional is paper. Modern is clocks. Lifenut is diapers.

Second Anniversary: Traditional is cotton. Modern is china. Lifenut is a double stroller.

Third Anniversary: Traditional is leather. Modern is glass. Lifenut is cardboard boxes for moving.

Fourth Anniversary: Traditional is fruit/flowers. Modern is appliances. Lifenut is diapers in 3 different sizes.

Fifth Anniversary: Traditional is wood. Modern is silverware. Lifenut is a minivan.

Sixth Anniversary: Traditional is candy/iron. Modern is wood. Lifenut is a puppy.

Seventh Anniversary: Traditional is wool/copper. Modern is desk sets. Lifenut is another minivan.

Eighth Anniversary: Traditional is bronze/pottery. Modern is linens/lace. Lifenut is a gift card for gasoline.

Ninth Anniversary: Traditional is pottery/willow. Modern is leather. Lifenut is kleenex/hospital bills/new house.

Tenth Anniversary: Traditional is tin/aluminum. Modern is diamond jewelry. Lifenut is Beatrix! (she was born the next day)

Eleventh Anniversary: Traditional is steel. Modern is fashion jewelry. Lifenut is a Suburban.

Twelfth Anniversary: Traditional is silk/linen. Modern is pearls. Lifenut is dinner out at Culver’s Butter Burger.

Thirteenth Anniversary: Traditional is lace. Modern is textiles/fur. Lifenut is stays in the NICU and California. California was more fun.

Fourteenth Anniversary: Traditional is ivory. Modern is gold jewelry. Lifenut is another lovely newborn, Teddy.

Fifteenth Anniversary: Traditional is crystal. Modern is watches. Lifenut is another puppy.

Sixteenth Anniversary: Traditional is also crystal. Modern is silver holloware. It sounds like something that could transport us to the moon. Alas, we did not receive holloware. Lifenut is another lovely newborn, Oliver.

Seventeenth Anniversary: Traditional is still that dang crystal. Apparently, there are no new traditional gifts for anniversaries 15-19. Modern is furniture. Lifenut was peace, quiet and letting our kids babysit themselves. 3 teenagers = handy.

Eighteenth Anniversary: Traditional is crystal—again. My imaginary handmade chandelier is spectacular. Modern is bronze. Lifenut is today.

Today, my husband and I are celebrating 18 years of marriage. What a man, what a marriage, what a pile of gifts.

So young. So oblivious.

So young. So oblivious.

3 comments to A list of anniversary gifts, Lifenut-style

  • I love this! Happy Anniversary!

    And just the other day I was going through old photos and came across the one of us that day we met in Boulder… (2007?) I almost used it as a #tbt.


    • Gretchen

      Thank you, Stephanie! That would be a fun photo to see! It would have been 2007-ish because Joel was four and I will never forget the hot dog incident—or meeting you!

  • Oh this is perfect – huge congrats to you guys!!! My favourite was the “iron” anniversary, my hubs got us a waffle iron and it has been put to SO MUCH use over the years!!!

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