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Routine Leaves a Message on My Voicemail

I thought you’d pick up the phone? It’s been months. Anyway, uh, I guess I have a few things to say to you.

First, I miss you! Remember when we used to make your bed together? I thought that new coverlet thing and the weird pillow you found at Goodwill would spice things up […]

How Our Big Family: Serves Meals

There are 11 of us with teeth. That means I need to feed these 11 mouths at least three times a day, plus snacks and treats. My renditions of bland spaghetti, random casseroles, ambitious soups, and tough meats are foisted on my mostly-understanding family.

Mealtimes with this many people to feed could be complicated […]

Fifth grade is the friendliest grade, and other first day lessons

First day of school photos are non-negotiable. They will happen, come zit or cowlick, come mismatched oddball fashion choice, come whatever. I’m don’t rush out and buy first day of school outfits because my choices end up being even more corny than how they kids already dress half the time, so they wear whatever strikes […]