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His story~Part 1

You speak with thunder and lightning,
Your voice shakes the mountains,
The foundations of the earth.
All I can offer is this fragile breath,
With each one I’ll praise You,
With each one I’ll praise You more

~Todd Agnew, This Fragile Breath

2:37 am sounds like the kind of time it would be for something like this to happen. I don’t know the exact time because it didn’t really matter. Beatrix was awake, again, and I was miles beyond frustrated.

“Mommy, sing songs to me? Mommy, sing songs?” Her voice piped through the dark.

For months, she’s had trouble sleeping through the night. The only thing that seemed to lull her to sleep was my voice, singing Silent Night. I couldn’t keep it up much longer, knowing our baby was due soon. What would she do when I was going to be gone for several nights? How would she react when I had to get up with the baby and couldn’t help her? Why did I start this singing business in the first place? I should have known better.

I entered her room seething and resentful.

“Go to sleep!” I demanded.

“Mommy sing?”

I didn’t answer. I stood near the door feeling overwhelmed by worry and bitterness toward my little girl for keeping me up—again. She asked several more times until I decided that maybe the radio would be an acceptable stand-in for me. I simply wanted to fall asleep. I had an appointment with my OB for an ultrasound and NST first thing in the morning.

I pushed the button on her little boom box in the corner. It was tuned to K-Love. The moment I pushed the button, this verse was read by the DJ:

The Lord is like a father to his children,
tender and compassionate to those who fear him.

~Psalm 103:13 NLT

Gulp. Convicted. Tenderness and compassion were not on my mind.

I went back to her bedside and knelt down. I told her I was sorry and I patted her back. I did not have to sing. Todd Agnew did it for me. Immediately after the verse was read, the song began.

This Fragile Breath has always been one of my favorite CCM songs. It reaches the place in my core where I store awe. The pairing of tenderness and compassion with a God whose voice shakes the foundations of the earth? Too much for me at that moment. I felt my little guy inside and watched my sweet girl’s eyes droop.

I knew I was about to experience something much larger than myself.

archie_3.jpg

I didn’t know I needed a lullaby, too.

20 comments to His story~Part 1

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