Compartments

Ancient History

How to be an old mom with a little kid

by Tommy White

1. “No, I’m his mom, not his grandma.”

2. “Get off that super high playground structure or I’m going to have to crawl up there to get you. Never mind. Carry on.”

3. “That’s Laverne. That’s Shirley.”

4. “Please don’t play with mommy’s orthotic shoe insert.”

5. “No, no, you wouldn’t […]

11 Things About Having Kids With Jobs

This is the type of work my kid brings home. It's pretty terrible, no?

Our three oldest kids are employed. How did this happen? Two have paying jobs, one has a rare and sought-after volunteer position at a major cultural attraction in Denver. These developments have changed a lot of aspects of family life around here. Most importantly, it’s changed them, too.

1. They have more money and […]

50 Things To Do In A School Pickup Line

Next time, he drives, I sleep.

1. Glare

2. Glower

3. Snicker

4. Seethe

5. Clip fingernails

6. Try to win radio contests for tickets to events you’d never spend money to attend

7. Sip hot beverages from insulated mug

8. Chew three pieces of gum and make giant bubbles

9. Take selfies

10. Read magazines

11. Read books

12. Write […]